“Should I get Dunkin today?” “It’s snowing here should I watch a Christmas movie? Which one?” “Should I buy this concert tee?” “What should I wear to church tomorrow?” “Which basil plant should I get?” “Should I watch Pitch Perfect again?” I could keep listing questions I send to my girls’ group chat. It seems like that’s what we text about now, as mostly-baby adults. What should we do? “Decision fatigue” is a phrase that’s been gaining traction recently, but these types of questions are symptomatic of that issue.
My sister called me last night to ask what she should make for dinner this week. I told her tacos, chili, a cool summer pasta salad. Then she told me about how she put an offer in on a house and that it was accepted. My friend texts us to ask what tv show she should watch next, then buys a horse on a random Tuesday afternoon. I ask my friends whether I should buy a pair of jean shorts at the thrift shop, then decide to move back across the country to a new town on my own once again.
Decision fatigue is an actual psychological issue, and not what I—and my friends—are experiencing. But it is how I feel. It seems like everytime I leave the apartment, I have to make so many decisions all day everyday that will affect my future, and I’m tired of it. It makes sense that after a day of writing, working, deciding big things like where we will live and should I buy a horse or not, that we have no energy left to decide whether to get Taco Bell or Chick-fil-A for dinner.
CBS News released a report in February describing decision fatigue as it affects twenty-somethings on dating apps. A creator on TikTok described the invisible labor and decision fatigue that accompanies planning everything related to sending out Christmas cards. A group chat of four girls whose friendship has lasted nearly ten years devolves into asking back and forth “what should I eat for dinner” until the end of time (ok, well, maybe not this last one).
In 2024, I have more options than ever. Not only because of technology, industrialization, and globalization, but because I’m making big-girl money and I’m not a teenager living at home anymore (although, I have to say, the high school uniforms I begrudgingly rocked everyday did eliminate some decision making, so maybe it wasn’t all bad). Streaming services offer more choices than I’m ever going to be able to watch, there are too many excellent restaurants in Chicago to try, and Instagram serves up too many aesthetics for me to commit to in one lifetime.
I may be more independent than I’ve ever been, I may make more major decisions for myself now than I have since I decided where to go to college, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need help anymore. As easy as it would be to say it’s silly to ask my friends for help with tiny choices like dinner, clothes, and hair up or down, I can recognize that it is also a boon to have a support system for when being a cool, progressive twenty-something gets to be too much work. Or rather, too much fun.
Carlisle Patete (‘22) came to Calvin University from the mountains of North Carolina and graduated with a double major in film & media and creative writing. Today, she lives in Chicago, Illinois, where she enjoys pretending to be the main character on the L and has become the Bean’s biggest fan.
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Carlisle, I appreciate you drawing focus to something which I have felt so much. One of my least favorite feelings is when I’m asked what I want for my birthday dinner, finally come to a decision, and then get hit with the second punch of “what do you want for dessert?”
Taco Bell