Negative Buoyancy
The pet clinics around me don’t even have veterinarians on staff that work with fish.
Love That Backpack Dog
I look at my feet and then at my dog’s feet, all tucked into the backpack she is patiently waiting for me to let her out of.
How to Ruin a Date
I should ask him his name, I thought. He somehow knows I don’t like coffee, and I don’t even know his name.
My Bad Reads on Goodreads
I actually might knock this out of the hands of my enemies to save them from reading it.
Vacuums are the Unseen Villain in Where the Wild Things Are
When I saw that room, I knew everything about Max’s mom.
Forks on the Road
When we pass the Toyota with someone eating a chicken sandwich all wrapped up in white paper, I throw up my hands.
“Is the whole Midwest eating something but us?”
Ideal Reading Conditions: Pitch Darkness, Eyes Closed.
I can’t stand to think about it outside of my sketchbook and my Word document.
The Wedding Speech I Did Have to Give
It was friendship at first hike.
Bleeding in Aldi
Now here I was, sweating after a kick to the face, wondering if Gina knew she kicked off of my skull instead of the wall.
Callused
Time and friction.
Menace
The woodchuck I didn’t manage to beat in year four is back, and now she has “Never Surrender” tattooed on her chest.
The Wedding Speech I Didn’t Have to Give
As your friend for almost fifteen years, I saw your ability to change someone for the better, because you changed me.
Lose Your Grandpa
I squint into the snow. The guy’s definitely jogging now.
The Viking Experience
We dropped our bags, feeling like we should be eating roasted reindeer and toasting flagons of mead.
The R. S. S. Sir David Attenborough by Any Other Name
He has eleven documentaries basically named the same thing. Just saying.
Peace On Earth, Good Will Towards Fish
Half-frozen with no bird or angel declaring it as special and life-changing or even still alive.
James Should Get A Buzz Cut—Sign Here.
Rule number two of working with middle schoolers should be take at least two years of mandatory debate classes and maybe have a minor in Buddhist thought and practices.
First of Shadows, First of Shots
I’d rub my arm and think, being first hurts.
I Survive 5 Minutes in Jurassic Park
Gabbie Eisma: a 5’2” woman of outstanding imagination and library fines. 23 years old. (Note to costumes manager: Eisma should be wearing a salmon-colored button-up shirt over a blue tank top, khaki shorts, round sunglasses, and hiking boots.) (Both booted feet come...
Chairs, Mate.
The chair that always had yogurt cups tucked into its corners!
Some Sisters Take Down Empires
All sisters work to balance their feral need to be the knife in their sister’s boot and learning to let go.
Seven Outfits for Sasquatch Legs
I pulled my legs into a criss-cross-applesauce position to us both exploding at the sight of each other’s knee beards.
Pizza and Other Unexpected Delights
With a soundless slap, the pizza was on my windshield.
On Christina Koch
As of March 2023, seventy-two women have flown in space.
But no woman has gone on a moon mission before.
St. Ives: One City, Two Perspectives
It was all crisp blue water and green cliffsides, purple oysters clinging to midnight rocks.
We arrived on a warm evening and were greeted by an orange sky, salty air, and cobbled streets.
Costco Wedding Rings
After a year or so, he wouldn’t remember the first trip, and the third trip with the same snack samples would be just as much of a treat.
Buckets, Biscuits, and Benders: A Hockey Skater’s Guide to Skating This Winter
You get the lumber laid on you, you get a face wash, you end up in a yard sale—you keep playing.
Duck Neighbors
I miss who murdered Mrs. McGinty. But I don’t miss my neighbor duck watching me all the way up the rest of the hill and back to my house.
On Spiracles and Stingray Lagoons
Spiracles. What a ridiculous name for the very thing that keeps you alive.
Invisible Ink
One more thing to die of in a ruthless, bloody war: beautiful magenta ink on a love letter.
