Some more things I think about a lot even though they’re not important
This is my last post on the post calvin. Goodbye and thanks for reading.
Errata
I don’t know if this is an error per se, but it’s certainly a sin of omission.
Things I Think About a Lot Even Though They’re Not Important
There’s a brand of bathroom scales called “Thinner.” This is a bad name for a bathroom scale.
“””Art”””
I’ve created some “””art””” using the Processing programming language.
The Collected Wisdom of Tony Ditta
First, as somebody who likes math, I want to clarify: what you’re describing is being bad at arithmetic, not necessarily being bad at math.
Liner Notes with Tony, Part IV: Scandinavian Invasion
There’s something about how she says “weird now” that sounds distinctly Northern European to me. I can’t quite place it.
What Up Haters?
People also hate it when I’m right and they’re wrong, which happens pretty frequently.
Liner Notes with Tony, Part III: syLAble
Here I’ve compiled a list of songs containing one of my favorite lyrical quirks: emphasizing the wrong syllable of a word, but making it work.
Other People’s Jokes
In college, my friend Lauren was describing the physical features that she found attractive about men. She said, “I don’t know, beards are really growing on me.”
Passing Notes in Class
A while ago a few friends and I took a class that turned out to be much easier than expected. We spent most of the class time electronically messaging.
Four Days of My Google Search History
gma (6:46 p.m.) – Trying to go to Gmail, but autocomplete failed me. “GMA” brings you to “Good Morning America.”
gmail (6:47 p.m.) – Nailed it.
Chess Bots
The people I know with whom I’ve recently played chess are similarly much better than me. When we play, I view it more as a self-esteem boost for them than a real contest.
Club Keno and Graphs
A while ago my friend Ryan won three games of Club Keno in a row.
2001: A Sex Odyssey
Condoms were occasionally brought up with a scoff and a smirk. Believing that condoms were good for anything was credulity on par with believing the earth is flat.
Stay Bold, Ponyboy
People go nuts over the fact that most people think they’re above average.
Liner Notes with Tony, Part II: Generating Buzz for Ryn Weaver
If you ever hear me screaming “What if there’s more? What if there’s more?” I’m just singing along.
My Dog, My Dawg: A Study in Contrasts
He’s deathly afraid of my guitar because one time—one time—he knocked it over and the sound it made upon landing scared the bejesus out of him.
Everything is Fake. We’re All Going to Die.
I’m over here with the cognitive capacity to panic endlessly about my impending doom, and I actually have to face that doom, while amoeba don’t even have the cognitive capacity to distinguish Bob the Builder from Dora the Explorer, and they basically get to live forever.
Airing My Dirty Laundry
I’m not totally clear on the distinction between Great Britain, the United Kingdom, and the British Isles.
I wish the employees at the restaurants I frequent would pretend they’ve never seen me before.
Economics + Gymnastics = Fantastics
One reason is that we can get insight into human behavior by comparing what people should do in this situation (if they want to maximize winning probability) to what they actually do.
Harvey Weinstein and Strategic Sexual Assault
Who did he attack? Young women at the beginning of their careers—people over whom he had the most leverage and who had the least institutional recourse.
Liner Notes with Tony, Part I: Sometimes People Do Non-Musical Things During Their Music
I tried not to include too many live songs because that’s sort of cheating, but there are some REALLY good live ones, so those have been included.
My Three Best Jokes and Why They Were So Great
And this is the mark of comedy greatness: it pushes us—not to a breaking point, but just outside what we thought was “good enough.”
RPSBYAW
Abby said I could write “500-800 words about anything under the sun,” so I wrote a computer game in which you play Rock, Paper, Scissors against a computer, but you always win.
Steam
FACT ALERT: Anything invisible that doesn’t seem to be trying to kill us is just one major breakthrough away from being found out as a villain.
