post calvin direct

Get new posts from Tony Ditta delivered straight to your inbox.

Other People’s Jokes

In college, my friend Lauren was describing the physical features that she found attractive about men. She said, “I don’t know, beards are really growing on me.”

Passing Notes in Class

A while ago a few friends and I took a class that turned out to be much easier than expected. We spent most of the class time electronically messaging.

Chess Bots

The people I know with whom I’ve recently played chess are similarly much better than me. When we play, I view it more as a self-esteem boost for them than a real contest.

2001: A Sex Odyssey

Condoms were occasionally brought up with a scoff and a smirk. Believing that condoms were good for anything was credulity on par with believing the earth is flat.

Everything is Fake. We’re All Going to Die.

I’m over here with the cognitive capacity to panic endlessly about my impending doom, and I actually have to face that doom, while amoeba don’t even have the cognitive capacity to distinguish Bob the Builder from Dora the Explorer, and they basically get to live forever.

Airing My Dirty Laundry

I’m not totally clear on the distinction between Great Britain, the United Kingdom, and the British Isles.
I wish the employees at the restaurants I frequent would pretend they’ve never seen me before.


Abby said I could write “500-800 words about anything under the sun,” so I wrote a computer game in which you play Rock, Paper, Scissors against a computer, but you always win.


FACT ALERT: Anything invisible that doesn’t seem to be trying to kill us is just one major breakthrough away from being found out as a villain.

the post calvin