Perils of a Bargain
The moral of this parable? Never buy a computer. They never should have been invented. Never buy a computer on a bargain because bargains are a lie. Everyone in the sales world is out to rip you off.
Five Campsites That Were NOT Insta-Worthy
In the middle of a freezing rain, we reached Dick’s Dome, a geodesic dome built to sleep four persons. There were eighteen people there.
Thanks for the Cat
I had actually forgotten that I could just go buy a pet.
On More Than Just Love & Marriage
It has always seemed weird to me that everyone is so cautionary about the permanence of tattoos and so encouraging about the permanence of marriage.
Help!
I always tried to do the independent thing first—I’ll call my own tow-truck, I’ll look for my own apartment, I’ll find a job, I’ll pick a grad program.
Reminders App: A Stratigraphy
Following is a stratigraphic analysis of the Reminders app on my iPhone—my August 2017 recollections of three past years of reminders that were once “new and urgent.”
Charli XCX and the Female Gaze
The song and video are so simply adorable that it would be tempting to brush them off as frivolous. But indulging that temptation would be dismissing a cultural commentary of Beyoncé proportions.
The Nose Knows Too Much
Moments like this, this spiraling existential crisis brought upon me by a bit of charred soy, are things that I thought wouldn’t carry over into adulthood.
Farewell, Orphan Black
Like any good sci-fi tale, then, Orphan Black is finally far less interested in predicting what might be, than it is in describing what exists now.
My Three Best Jokes and Why They Were So Great
And this is the mark of comedy greatness: it pushes us—not to a breaking point, but just outside what we thought was “good enough.”
