I’m Tired of Hearing Men Talk about The Last Jedi, So I Asked a Lady Robot
E: Ik heb een zwemdiploma maar als ik in jou ogen kijk verdrink ik.
L: Uh? Sorry, one more time? I want to make sure the readers get this.
The Tell-Tale Figment of My Imagination
The eternal shades of nightly gloom, which had so recently entwined my soul like a noose, loosened their chokehold and seemed to float away, ethereal bonds dissipating like specks of dust caught in a sunbeam.
A Cure for Homesickness
ANGELICA
(continues in the gravelly voice)
WIPE your tears, princess, we’re gonna serenada you. ANITUS!
I Am Not Myself Tomorrow
Free-Spirit Emily: (Scrolling through Anthropologie’s still impossibly expensive “sale” category) Oh believe me, you can. Remember the computer we never updated? We had it for years.
Existential Check-Up
Now, if you’ll sit over here, I’m just going to take your anxiety. You’re going to feel some tightness. That’s normal. Okay?
Okay.
Memento Reply All
Isn’t Kelsey on the party planning committee or whatever? I feel like she’s too much of a Try-Hard to pass up something like that. I hope she remembers I’m gluten free so I can eat something other than a fruit cup this year.
Wish It Was Sunday
“I think the water’s boiling, Jes.”
“Can you get that?”
“Caffeine or decaf?”
Passing Notes in Class
A while ago a few friends and I took a class that turned out to be much easier than expected. We spent most of the class time electronically messaging.
Liturgies
“And then of course you wonder if taking your wife to this show as the right thing to do, or if maybe you would have been better off going to dinner and having a conversation, even a monologue, as I suppose this has become.”
Teach Us to Pray
Teach me the quiet virtue of janitors and night stockers. Of saints who wake and sleep and live—and that is enough.
