When the Gulls Descend
Seagulls—by land, sea or any other name—are seagulls. They’re annoying birds, but they’re honest ones.
Relient K Is Still Relevent
You stopped listening to Relient K after 2004’s Mmhmm.
Listen, I get it. I was in the same boat.
Christian Hipster Baby Names
Barnabas
+10 Christian points and +1000 Calvin points.
30 Things Everyone Is Actually Doing This Summer
6. Going swimsuit shopping. Finding two types of swimsuits: lingerie and grandma’s pajamas.
I Now Pronounce You
At every milestone I’ve consciously met in this life, I’ve supposed that I’ll feel somehow different on the other side.
Titty Sprinkles
Some of the men on my team couldn’t find a passing lane—offensively or defensively—if their lives depended on it, but no one notices that.
A Night in Martha’s Vineyard
The sign in front of The Katama General Store reads: “Free Scones for all Presidents.”
Faded Memories
I technically shouldn’t have graduated—you were only allowed a total of twenty excused absences in a year, and I had something like thirty-five my senior year.
Dear Women, Just Say No.
So just say you can’t make it. Honestly, it took me a long time to learn this. I used to feel needlessly guilty for all sorts of things until my friend Bekah taught me how to say no to things.
Mary-Veronica
She isn’t actually Mary-Veronica. First she was Veronica, and then, after I gave her $140 but before she gave me her address, she became Mary.
