April 24, 2004
I, Isaac Vis. The scrawny, pale fifteen-year-old whose mom still cookie-cut his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into heart shapes. Had. Kissed. A. Girl!
A Metal History
Metalcore, death metal, melodic death metal, black metal, djent, speed metal, thrash metal, hair metal, nu-metal, doom metal, grind, hardcore, post-hardcore, southern metal, sludge metal…
Think Outside the Bell
“Guys, I’m pretty hammered right now. Who’s feeling Arby’s?” said no one ever.
Gift and Choice
Sometimes my mind gets stuck on things. For the last five years or so, it’s been stuck on a person: Jai Paul.
My Flings with Absent Men
But, as a single woman with no romantic prospects on the current horizon, I’ve gained the most intimacy with two men I have never met.
Lugares: The Long Awaited English Translation of a Portuguese Poetic Masterpiece
I’m proud to present my abridged and condensed translations of Maria Andresen de Sousa’s brilliant book Lugares.
The Mundane Greatness of Michael Phelps
Of course Michael Phelps won another gold medal. Why should we expect anything different?
Friends Like These
Success, money, fame, and even romance feel laughably conceptualized when placed against the visceral reality of friends singing along the highway and filling the car with farts.
Grief and Loss and Slapstick
Tommy Boy, the stupid, slapstick-esque comedy with Chris Farley and David Spade that was made in 1995, is not a good movie.
Harry Potter and the Unfortunate Sequel
More crucially, the Time-Turner plot that comprises the latter two-thirds of the play codes almost as a kind of high-level fan-fiction.
