A Sick Day
For most of the following day, you will alternate between dozing off and scrolling Wikipedia—its mostly black-and-white interface far less obnoxious than that of Instagram.
In the Waiting, I Sing
That’s why stories hit children so hard.
Romanticizing My Commute
I’ll take that over driving in DC traffic every time.
March Was a Lot
It comes earlier in the scene than you expect, and is devastating in its simplicity.
I Was Wrong About My Mom
My heart still yearns for Caribou runs and dressing room dates.
I Was Wrong About Living Alone
I missed sharing a gallon of oat milk—because who really goes through a whole gallon of alternative milk alone?
I Was Wrong About My Spouse
I always joke with people that I was never really plugged in enough to find myself in the firing line of all the classic Christian dogma taught to children.
I Was Wrong About ****
How can we be expected to take a topic seriously when it is being referred to in the internet’s version of rhyming slang?
I Was Wrong About Success
I cannot shame myself into being better.
I Met My Celebrity Crush
And I think I blacked out.
