Legacy America
I remember thinking, with all the considerable certainty that a fifteen-year-old can muster, that if this doesn’t change us, nothing will.
Annaka Koster (’18) graduated from Calvin with majors in English and history and the University of Michigan a couple years later as a “master” of information science. She’s now a public librarian in her hometown. Outside the library, Annaka can be found doing a sundry of nerdy things, including reading comics, playing board games, and mourning her pet snail, Clive.
Annaka Koster (1996 – )
More likely, though, her inevitable termination was brought on by her unending affection for sugary beverages, which she does not regret.
What We Lose When We Ban Books
I am more worried about the effects that these conversations have on adults.
Pulling Weeds in the Allegory Garden
“Please don’t call the police,” she says.
Spoil Me
Kay throws out dramatic, world-altering twists as easily as your ex-roommate spoils the new Spiderman on Twitter.
Best of 2021, Part Two: Writers’ Picks
Amidst the bad, the broken, and the baffling, our writers sought and succeeded to chronicle all that and more.
Festive Erotica with Your Favorite Librarian
Our paranormal pair spend most of the story thinking about how their relationship failed because David was bad at sex, not chasing down whoever is putting up mistletoe all over town and giving a couple folks some minor frostbite.
Not Even Mad About It
“You’re Koster’s sister, right? Why aren’t you a ginger?”
Walden & Wind Turbines
The whole thing was a real exercise in accelerated bildungsroman.
The Co-op Killer
All we had to do to win was get both of our pawns to the launch pad.
Worse Angels
You are suddenly and acutely aware that when you die and go to hell, this is what awaits you.
Yuhki and Me
I’d start by telling them about the lies I used to tell in middle school.
Everybody Loves WWII
It might seem strange to describe a global event that cost some eighty-five million people their lives with the same adjective that Kohl’s uses to describe underwear.
Unsolicited Updates
For a creature that technically does not have a brain, Clive has a great sense of dramatic timing.
Bogeyman
He lurks behind church ladies when they ask if I’m still single.
An Incomplete List of the Worst Book Covers I’ve Ever Seen
Listen, book, your aesthetic can’t be both “lazy Warhol knockoff” and “grandpa forced to take a photo at Ye Olde Wild West Land.”
The Tremendous Samaritan
You would rather die than have some people pity you.
Best of 2020, Part Two: Peers’ Picks
Is anyone listening? Does anyone care? Or are we just writing into the void for the satisfaction of our own egos?
Merry Bloody Christmas
Much of my problem with Mary stems from my own somewhat-fraught relationship with my reproductive system, which is to say that I hate it and wish that it didn’t exist.
Thanksgiving Prayer
For those who shout down ignorance even past the point of no return, who know we are less than two minutes from midnight and continue anyway.
November 9, 2016
The professor in charge of my primary tutorial would, in what conservative pundits would later call “a total snowflake move,” offer to move back the due date on that week’s essay.
My Coworker’s Cat Almost Killed Us Both
Fergie and the goldfish, thankfully, seemed unaffected.
An Open Letter to My Neighbors
Hello. You do not know me and I do not know you.
Holy Mola Mola
The scene, at first, is more akin to Jaws than Blue Planet—a silent silhouette from out of the hazy depths.
Ten Incredibly Specific, Fake Phobias that I 100% Have
7. Egochristicolaphobia — The Fear of Being Associated with the Word “Christian”
Memorial Day
Meaning, it turns out, doesn’t always accompany mortality.
Snail Saga, Pt. 3: Snails in the Shadow of COVID-19
There isn’t much I’ve enjoyed more recently than watching Clive—Clive Snails Lewis, to give him his full title—wrap his slimy self around a carrot.
Snail Saga, Pt. 2: Cohabitating with Tiny Corpses
When confronted with a dozen or so unexpected snails, one faces questions of moral principle one never thought one would.
My Favorite Color Is No Longer Purple
Six years later and I’m still using that toolkit at least once a month, but something has changed.
Snail Saga, Pt. 1: Carl Sagan the Ukrainian Mail-Order Snail
myhappysnails.com had assured me: “There is no smell in the place where snails live in.”
