Tips from a Year of Museuming
Whenever I enter a museum, I rediscover rhythms that I haven’t used since my last trip to Adventureland for nerds.
Santa Hat on a Tree, Nails in the Walls
If I lived alone, my apartment would probably look destitute.
Swings and Roundabouts
Vowel merges have led multiple people to mistake my tale about seeing the ferry with spotting a fairy or my ponderings about Frodo and Merry as Frodo and Mary.
Snowball Effect
But when I was sixteen, I moved to northern Michigan, where it starts snowing at Halloween and stops whenever God wants it to.
Coffee Crimes
Flooding stores with fresh hires just before a vote count in an attempt to dilute the vote? Illegal. Dragging their feet as long as possible with unionized stores, refusing to negotiate a contract with the union? Illegal.
Finding Home
We could’ve seen the excessive nail-marks in the wall as holes, but we chose to see them as opportunities—convenient holders for tiki umbrellas during our tropical-themed party.
Terminal Restlessness
But grown women usually don’t wail on an eight-hour flight over the Atlantic.
Healing Girl Summer
I’ve dubbed this summer as “healing girl summer” (instead of the trendy and probably more fun, TikTok-approved hot girl summer).
Hey Susannah, You Don’t Need to Carry Everyone’s Backpacks
Well okay, Stephen Sondheim, just go ahead and call me right out.
Cohabitating My Way to Hell
My friend had just described a hypothetical scenario of someone living in direct opposition to the laws of the church, and there I was, right beside him, living that life, deserving of reprimand.
