The 42,000-Meter Flaming Bull Survival Sprint
Like Bob Costas, who only gets pulled out every two years from whatever coat closet NBC hides him in, the Olympics are full of those sports that no one really cares about until the next Olympics.
My Father’s Meadow
My father walks the meadow in the early morning.
Water and Blood
It takes two to tango. If the mosquito gets off scot-free, successful and without need of a getaway car, this robber has engorged itself with three times its weight in blood.
In Defense of Emojis
Texting without emojis is like talking with your hands behind your back. Certainly possible—but a little less dynamic.
The Incident of the Bug in the Bathroom
With all the grace of a victorious warrior princess, I gave my mortal enemy’s remains a proper burial.
Learning to Let Me Be Me
I have been letting myself down for as long as I can remember.
April 24, 2004
I, Isaac Vis. The scrawny, pale fifteen-year-old whose mom still cookie-cut his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into heart shapes. Had. Kissed. A. Girl!
A Metal History
Metalcore, death metal, melodic death metal, black metal, djent, speed metal, thrash metal, hair metal, nu-metal, doom metal, grind, hardcore, post-hardcore, southern metal, sludge metal…
Think Outside the Bell
“Guys, I’m pretty hammered right now. Who’s feeling Arby’s?” said no one ever.
Gift and Choice
Sometimes my mind gets stuck on things. For the last five years or so, it’s been stuck on a person: Jai Paul.
