Breaking up with Blue Apron
It started like any romance—I gave her a coupon for thirty percent off, then my credit card number and address, known allergies, social security number, and blood type.
Fad Diets, Pseudoscience, and Snakeoil
Faced with the incontrovertible decay of my body, I did what any aging millennial does—turn to the pseudoscience of the age and go on a cleanse.
Leave Your Comfort Zone: Equinox Edition
After I signed a waiver that confirmed I wouldn’t sue Equinox if I died on the treadmill or passed out because I saw Blake Lively, we entered the immaculate studio.
You’re More Loving Than You Think You Are
Will cried when the sentences turned to me. “I’m just going to say one thing,” he said, and he had to stop for a while. “Because you’ll know what I mean by it,” and he had to stop again.
Failing to Write
The bottom line, though, is that I failed at this assignment.
What Eating the Same Meals for Ten Months Will Do to You
To get something straight, eating the same thing is boring as all hell. I gained a measure of satisfaction from it, of course, or else I wouldn’t have done it.
The Search for Grandma
A few weeks ago, Grandma fell in her bedroom. She pulled a bookcase down on top of her, breaking several ribs and pushing her further down “the road” than she had been before.
Come, Jet Lag; Come, Haggis
My first meal off the plane, jet-lagged as I was, consisted of No. 1 Grange Road’s “Haggis, Neeps, and Tatties Tower.”
A Day on the Bus in Tegucigalpa
I set a few rules—my “day” on the bus would last eight hours, but would include walking to, from, and between buses.
Postscript
Dear M,
I hope you are enjoying life in Oregon. I am trying very hard not to miss you. Sometimes, it works.
