For the month of June, we asked all of our writers to include a video in their piece.
January 14, 2016
Today, I sat down for an interview at a coffee franchise. I’ve been working at a place that manufactures potato salad by the hundreds of pounds, and I need something new. Something that smells better.
“So,” the manager said. “You’re telling me that you can work anytime?”
I nodded my head.
“He loves people like you” the owner said. “You’re like the stuff in the potato salad that oozes and fills in the cracks.”
“Great,” I said.
Because once you’ve been compared to mayonnaise, things can only get better.
January 18, 2016
During training, I practiced putting whipped cream on drinks.
It’s actually harder than it looks.
January 21, 2016
“Do you guys want to practice whipped cream again?”
January 25, 2016
Now watch me whip.
But no nae nae.
February 1, 2016
February 9, 2016
I met the man who orders his triple grande reduced calorie mint mocha latte extra extra extra hot. He stood at the end of the counter and watched me steam the milk. He told me I put too much milk in the pitcher, and that I was going to burn myself. I wanted to tell him I wasn’t going to burn myself, but I’m slightly terrified of him so I didn’t say anything.
We’ll call him The Godfather.
February 26, 2016
Today, a lady paid for her five-dollar latte with a one-hundred-dollar bill.
When she was handing me the bill, I was worried I was going to have to explain to her that we don’t accept foreign currency as a form of payment. But it was okay. I had just never seen a one-hundred-dollar bill in the flesh before.
February 28, 2016
I burned myself on The Godfather’s milk.
March 14, 2016
I don’t understand the point of cappuccinos.
They’re half foam.
April 5, 2016
Today, I was working with a coworker during her first shift ever, which happened to be an uncharacteristic five-hour-long rush of hell, and I learned the depth behind the saying: Don’t cry over spilled milk.
Because she definitely spilled a gallon on the floor, and there was nothing I could do about it.
April 23, 2016
Today, a lady argued with me for five minutes over the price of a drink with a coupon.
April 25, 2016
She came back.
“I was here earlier this week,” she said.
Trust me, ma’am. I remember.
May 3, 2016
Today, a customer complained about the location of the front door.
Unfortunately for him, I don’t have any control over complaints outside of his order, the music, or something gone terrible awry in the bathroom.
Even then, it’s pretty up in the air.
May 7, 2016
I had to hand the plunger over to my coworker today because I
May 10, 2016
“You’re twenty-four and working in a coffee shop. Is it really that difficult to meet guys?”
May 14, 2016
Me: Hey! It’s been awhile. How are ya?
Guy: I’m good. How are you?
Me: I’m good…
Ten seconds later
Me: Oh, um, I just said “thanks…”
Manager: She was thanking you for her asking her how she was doing.
May 18, 2016
Every once in awhile, during a rush, I get stressed. Then I realize that there’s really only one way to get through a sixty-cup hour rush, and that’s one cup of coffee at a time.
And I think maybe I should approach life the same way.
A temple is made of individual bricks after all.
June 3, 2016
From one side of the espresso machine to the other: I don’t understand the point of cappuccinos, and I don’t understand decaf coffee, but I’ll make your tall decaf cappuccino exactly the way you order it.
Because when you have so little control over the big things in life, the small things matter.