A Sehnsuchtsvoll Website
The fairness and insensitivity of this feels reassuring, like weather or death. Something I cannot change. Something that does not care about me.
The fairness and insensitivity of this feels reassuring, like weather or death. Something I cannot change. Something that does not care about me.
As I’ve been moving my life into this new room, I’ve been dismantling the one in the southwest suburbs of Chicago where I slept in from the age of ten until I left for college.
Milwaukee will always have my heart, but Grand Rapids tugs at it this morning, hard.
I simply feel that I could make a few very small and practical changes that would improve our situation greatly.
10 / The Office will have ended when Jim and Pam got married.
I have never been so closely scrutinized for every word that comes out of my mouth as I have been this summer, nannying for a family with three children ages seven, eleven, and twelve.
I want to be better about recognizing their cousin—micro-advantages, micro-privileges that lead to a world that bends in my direction, that is softer with me, gentler.
And if I’m being honest, moving home does feel like a failure. I went out into the big wide world with a suitcase and a dream and came back empty-handed.
Though they stay with us in a way, miracles do pass. The mountain disappeared almost as quickly as it had come, the sun set quicker than we imagined it would, and we had far to go in darkness.
I’ve come to appreciate this about Haruko. When I would rather stick to polite smiles and communication mediated by Shiki, she speaks Japanese at me and throws in English words, gestures, and images until I understand.
I decided on aura photography because it is decently priced, comes with tangible evidence, and reminds me of Tapenga from Boy Meets World.