This is Gwyneth’s last post. She has been writing with us since August 2018, and we wish her well as she moves onto other adventures.
Our theme for the month of June is “confessions.”
The commenting culture of the post calvin is not a particularly dynamic one. Readers mostly do not leave comments, or when they do, they offer affirmation. It’s a generally nonthreatening venue for publishing one’s deepest musings on the self, impassioned indictments of unjust governments and organizations, ponderings about the natural world, and general “day-in-the-life” fare.
Still, I’ve adhered to a nonengagement policy throughout my seven-year tenure at tpc.¹ I am fundamentally inclined to arguing online, but on a deeper level I know I have better things to do, so I restrict myself wherever possible. Even when the comments trigger my letter-to-the-editor tendencies.
However. This is the last time I get to contribute to this community. For one post only, I’ll take a stab at getting the last word.
Post: When Your Vagina Doesn’t Work
Date: June 11, 2022
Commenter: x-files, aka ksgates00²
Comment:
“Two doughnuts is unhealthy and two hotdogs is also unhealthy.”³
Hey guys, come look at this weirdo who doesn’t want two doughnuts for some reason? More doughnuts for us!
Post: Heterosexuality
Date: November 13, 2022
Commenter: Logan M.
Comment:
“Did you grow up on a stupid farm? Did you eat moron seeds every day for breakfast? I’m not the brightest bulb in looney bin but I want you to know when I go to sleep tonight I will thank God that despite my many faults at least I don’t have as much brain damage as you.
If you think this is hate speech, I’m here to tell you that is one thing you’re right about. I hated reading this, and am now using speech to tell you.”
Heterosexuality isn’t going well for you either, eh?
Post: Rereading The Balloon Tree
Date: April 5, 2024
Commenter: lol, aka lkigel
Comment:
“OMG how can this woke woman survive in the world of OLD BOOKS? I bet you any money that if I go to ZIMBABWE and look at the local libraries’ children sections, the MELANIN of the characters in most books wouldn’t be peachy either!! I even wonder if they HAVE a children’s section!”
Libraries in Zimbabwe do face many challenges with funding and representation in texts—especially linguistic representation, as they have far more access to books in English than those in the country’s most-spoken languages like Shona and Ndebele. But they do have children’s sections, including in the donkey-drawn mobile lending library run by the Rural Libraries and Resources Development Programme.
As for me, I’ve read all kinds of books, old and new, and not a one has done me in yet. Hope that answers all your questions!
Post: I Think Your Intentionally Hairless Body Is Weird⁴
Date: May 11, 2024
Commenter: Loki, aka Foad
Comment:
“Body hair is fucking disgusting and unhygienic as fuck. Shave ya nasty hairy ass wook.”
It is very handy that my body repels you without me having to do anything to avoid you myself.
Post: I Think Your Intentionally Hairless Body Is Weird
Date: June 4, 2025
Commenter: TanyaB
Comment:
[in reply to above]“It’s far from unhygienic, don’t be an intellectual pygmy. Several million years of evolution tells us otherwise, in fact constantly shaving and plucking etc removes your skin’s protective barrier, nobody actually needs to use soap either, warm water will remove dirt and odour very well.
Love and hugs XXX”
I appreciate the fact-checking (I do think we should use soap, to be clear), but I urge you to reconsider your use of “pygmy” as an insult.
Post: Top Ten Map Projections
Date: May 25, 2021
Commenter: Luca Concialdi
Comment:
“As creator of the Cahill-Concialdi bat map I have to disapprove the related judgement. The bat-map is the best!
Just kidding… by the way also conformal-tetrahedron based map can be very nice!”
Dude I am so sorry. Your map is so cool. I stand by my overall ranking but your map is really really good please don’t report me to the International Society for the History of the Map.
***
I’ve loved writing for the post calvin. I know it’s time to go—not just because I’m turning thirty, though that is a well-timed excuse. My grief for Palestinians has overwhelmed my capacity to write about much else, yet I mostly feel that I have run out of ways to express the horror anew.
I’ve left more gaps in my publishing history here than I’d hoped to. I haven’t resolved every conversation I’ve started. I’m not enamored of every post I’ve made. I’m glad for the experience all the same.
For everyone who’s ever commented on one of my posts—kindly, thoughtfully, encouragingly, challengingly, menacingly, stupidly—I’ve read it, I’ve thought about it, I’ve reveled in the engagement. So thank you; I can’t wait to see if you have anything to say about this one (but I probably won’t respond).
¹ I broke this rule once, to make an astrology joke.
² Yes, I can see all your email and IP addresses when you make these super clever comments.
³ This comment has been replaced by a disclaimer from the tpc admin team, but I still have the original automated email.
⁴ There were more comments on this post that I might have responded to, but this was a rare occasion of the community having a discussion in the comments without writer intervention. I think the conversation on this post is interesting, and I don’t feel the need to add to it now.
Thank you, Gwyneth, for all your posts to date, especially the ones that inexplicably inspired people to be weird—and may I also say, wrong—in the comments.
I’ve often wanted more comment engagement for everyone on the post calvin, but I haven’t had the courage to do that work myself, most of the time. Here’s one contribution, at least, in honor of your many wonderful posts.