It happened again this week. As I collected my mail, one item stood out amongst the boring envelopes, a tasteful off-white with looping script spelling an overly formal version of my name. Inside, thick paper stock with the same flourishing text invited me to save the date for another marriage celebration.
Early post-college life seems chock-full of weddings, and while there are plenty of guides out there for prospective brides and grooms with tips for planning their perfect day, there are fewer for wedding guests looking to make sure they have a good time. I’ve attended my fair share of weddings (four so far this summer), so here’s some advice for going to a wedding you’re not in.
1. Recognize that you are not always going to have fun.
This one is a bummer, but it’s important to recognize. No matter how fun the weddings you’ve been to in the past are, you’re eventually going to be at a wedding that’s not what you expected. You won’t know anyone but the people getting married, or the ceremony will be more traditional than you expected, or you’ll be awkwardly a different age from everyone else there. That’s okay; weddings are for the people getting married. They invited you because they like you, but the party isn’t for you. It’s for them.
2. Brush up your small talk.
Weddings are full of people, and you probably won’t know everyone there. That said, everyone there will have one thing in common with you: They know the people getting married. If you find yourself making conversation with people you don’t know, you can always talk about the couple, how you met them, a favorite memory or two. These can serve as a jumping-off point for other conversations, and before long you’ll have made a new friend! Weddings are about people coming together, and that’s not limited to the people tying the knot.
3. Bring your own fun.
Wedding ceremonies and the dinners that follow can be long and boring, but they’re mostly all the same. This leaves many opportunities for you to make your own fun in a way that doesn’t disrupt the couple’s big day. Bring a bingo card of predictions to see how many you get right. Guess how many times people will clink their glasses to make the couple kiss, or which person will cry first. A personal favorite of mine is to bet how long the ceremony will run (The Price is Right rules, closest without going over).
