When weather forecasts start to call for snow, I think of Christmas and of winter sports. In December, Christmas makes snow worth celebrating; in January, winter sports make me watch the flakes with a similar glee. So why don’t Christmas stories and winter sports stories often collide onscreen? Maybe they should. Both sports movies and holiday romances tend to be aspirational success stories, driven by their heroes’ journeys through jealous fiancés, training montages, and other tests of dedication. While Paris will host gymnasts, track stars, and other Olympians this summer, we’ll have to wait until 2026 for the next Winter Games. So why hasn’t Hallmark or Netflix produced an abundance of Winter Olympics-adjacent stories for the market in the meanwhile? Sports stories are mainly marketed to men; cheesy romances, to women. Why not combine the demographics into a Winter Olympiad of truly swoon-worthy absurdity? (Shhhh, budget concerns.) I’m presenting five potential plots for your consideration:
Get On Board
Snowboard cross racer Misty L. Toh (the first Asian-American actress you’ve ever seen on this channel) won gold at sixteen—and hasn’t gotten higher than silver since. Now twenty-six, she can’t stand cocky athletes like Cole N. Stalken (Generically Handsome Man), who has never won anything but gold. So of course she can’t believe it when she’s paired up with Cole for a mixed team race at the Winter Olympics. Even worse, she has to train with him all December—even when a freak snowstorm traps them on top of the mountain on Christmas Eve! Will Misty and Cole race toward something more than the finish line? Cole’s golden retriever Dasher might have something to say about that!
Snowboard cross gold medalists Nick Baumgartner and Lindsey Jacobellis appear as coaches/matchmakers for Misty and Cole.
Building Santa’s Olympic Village
For the first time ever, the tiny Nordic country of Lusitania* is hosting the Winter Olympics! Designer and architect Hannah (Vaguely Familiar Broadway Actress) has never been so stressed; she’s in charge of building and decorating the Olympic Village in time to show off on camera during Luisitania’s annual Holly Jolly Follies. But none of the builders have showed up, and everything’s off-deadline! No one wants another Sochi situation, so Hannah’s relieved when Kris (Former Teen Heartthrob with a White-Blond Beard) arrives with a workshop full of ideas. Can Hannah, Kris, and his green-clad construction crew save the day? Watch to find out—and to see former Winter Olympians (with varying degrees of recognizability) appear in brief, badly filmed cameos talking about Lusitania’s Olympic past!
*History-inclined viewers will spend the film wondering if Hallmark either 1) didn’t know about the ship from WWI or 2) remembered the name and not any of the context. When the movie airs, the name sparks outrage and a short-lived TikTok trend of naming other historical ships/objects/concepts that sound like fictional countries.
Breaking the Ice
After superstar hockey player Nezzer Ebbs (Real Life Goalie) breaks off his engagement to sports journalist Halle Barry* (Former Child Star), she would rather spend December anywhere but a hockey rink. But when her paper (which has a surprising travel budget) assigns her to cover Nezzer’s rival’s return to the rink after an injury, Halle heads off to Christmas, Canada, ready for revenge. She wants to give this man more publicity than her ex could ever dream of. But Halle definitely didn’t expect to like Timothy Cratch (Generically Handsome Man #53). She definitely didn’t know that “Not So Tiny Tim” is a single dad who just wants a perfect Christmas for his kids Max (Cringey Child Actor #3) and Cindy (Cringey Child Actress #6). Tim’s kids can’t help but see the sparks flying between their dad and the pretty reporter following them around. Can Max and Cindy get Tim and Halle to see that they’re not so different after all? What will Nezzer say when he sees Timothy and Halle together at the Hockey Holiday Gala?
*Both Halle Bailey and Halle Berry have declined to comment.
Don’t Luge Your Heart
Madie (tall brunette in six-inch heels) is a big-city career girl with no intentions to ever live in Holiday Heights again. But this will be her niece Noelle (Cringey Child Actress #6, again)’s first Christmas without her mom, so Madie heads to her hometown, just for a few weeks. But something—someone—might change her plans. Noelle drags Madie to Holiday Heights’ winter sports arena, where she meets Noelle’s luge coach Sam (Stock Image Model #7). But Sam isn’t just a former Olympian; he’s also Noelle’s dad’s brother. Sam thinks Noelle has what it takes for the Junior Olympics, but Madie thinks luge is ridiculous—and dangerous. Can Noelle find a way to bring her Aunt Madie and Uncle Sam* together in time to go for gold—and save Christmas?
*Throughout the film’s second act, Madie mocks Uncle Sam for his absurdly patriotic name. But in the third act, Team USA shows up for their Uncle Sam and helps him set the gazebo for a romantic dinner, so even Madie will cheer “Go Uncle Sam!” by movie’s end.
Rockin’ Around the Rink
Decorated Olympic ice skater Michelle (Former Medalist from the Nineties) dreams of restoring her childhood rink to its former glory. When the town’s other most famous citizen—chart-topping singer Rudy Rouge (Vaguely Familiar Broadway Actor #3)—offers to play the benefit concert, Michelle knows she should say yes. But she can’t imagine taking a favor from the man who broke her heart just before the Olympics and the injury that ended her career. Can Michelle and Rudy forgive each other and stage a performance the town will never forget?
Various ice skaters appear in thirty-second clips at the end of the film and in promotional ads you can’t avoid on social media.
Photo from CRASHING THROUGH THE SNOW (Hallmark, 2021). According to IMDB, the film includes less skating than the male lead’s attire would suggest.
Courtney Zonnefeld graduated in 2018 with a degree in writing. She currently lives in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she works for Eerdmans Books for Young Readers. In her free time, she enjoys reading, baking, and saving up for more herb plants. You can usually find her wandering a farmer’s market, hunting for vintage books, or browsing the tea selection in coffee shops.
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Absolutely in love with this piece. I also thought of it when the twist in one of the Hallmark movies this year was that the love interest was a downhill Olympic skier who got injured! Someone in the universe heard you 😀
Thanks, Alex–and bless that Hallmark scriptwriter! I sure hope they make a sequel where the protagonist is a ski jumper :).