Our theme for the month of October was selected by readers and is a format challenge: write a post completely in dialogue.

 

I recently recorded a conversation with my younger sister, Grace, and transcribed a few highlights. I hope you enjoy this as much as we did.

“Don’t want a repeat of the mall shrimp incident of 2018.”

“All I remember is that Jack was looking, like, extra sweaty.”
“He’s just like poppin’ pills, and he’s like, I’m fine.”

“It hadn’t even occurred to me that Avril Lavigne would release more music.”

“Wanna get on my lap? Yeah, want me to scoop you up?”
“That sounds creepy if you don’t know you’re talking to a dog.”
“Oh boy, oh boy. She’s going for the full face situation.”

“After a lot of, like, standing around, they’re finally like: okay, we’re gonna go pole saw at this other quarter section. But as soon as we get there, they’re like ‘Back to the shanties!’”

“What about mall shrimp seems like a good idea?”

“This should be like a podcast.”
“And now, a word from our sponsors—”
“Flax 4 Life, Gluten-Free Flax Muffins.”
“YAAAAS!”

“Okay! We’re gonna pole saw for real now!”

“Get in the tree; get out of the tree; get in the tree; get back out of the tree!”

“Blue cheese vinaigrette? Get out of my life.”

“Anyway, it died twice: once in the yard, and another time out on the street.”
“That’s what happens when you drive a raking truck past its service due.”

“There’s no way in hell I’m going to eat raw fish at the mall.”

“I’m sure your downstairs neighbors love you.”
“Me and my stomping feet.”
“Thwap thwap thwap.”
“And Jesse singing in his Kermit voice almost constantly.”

“Hello? I’m doing well, how are you?”
“Oh, no. Just hang up, just hang up, just hang up. Just say you’re not interested.”
“Uh, this is Grace. You know what, I’m actually not looking to make a change right now, but thank you anyway.”

“I know you maybe designated this in your mind as a pole sawing day, but there is very little pole sawing actually happening.”

“My default is always Mexican.”
“We just made burrito bowls two nights ago.”
“Well, then, go out for tacos!”

“You just get my father down here.”
“Jack, how does it feel to be the Draco Malfoy of the island?”
“Of the hospital, you mean.”

“These are intense muffins, though. A serving size is half a muffin.”
“That’s insane.”
“Oh, that’s a lot of fiber. Eeeeugh. Five grams per half a muffin. Maybe I shouldn’t eat two of these in one day, but you know what? Live a little.”

“No, we signed a lease together: I’m your problem now.”

“You should have a reality TV show. It’d be pretty boring. It’d be like: Grace is asleep…again.”
“Back at it again: snuggles.”

“Theoretically, sometimes, tempura is rice flour. Well, cut to half an hour later, I’ve snarfed this thing and I’m like: Jesse, we’ve gotta go. I wasn’t sick, but I was in pain for like three hours after that.”

“I feel like I’m going to listen to this and it’s just going to be a bunch of my disgusting chewing noises.”

“He likes his pills! Poppin’ pills like a champ.”
“Jack is like, psike! I’m gonna pop this pill just because I can’t help myself.”
“Straight down the gullet. Doesn’t even need to gulp.”

Caitlin Gent

Caitlin Gent (’15) graduated with a writing major. She lives in Milwaukee and works in fundraising & development. When she’s not working, Caitlin is usually walking with a friend or singing in the kitchen. She likes to wax poetic about Wisconsin to anyone who will listen.

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