Folks, I have been learning a lot about money management, financial freedom, and how our current economic system sets me up to fail, and now I have some things to say about it.
So, buckle up.
To start, you need to know that I hate money. I find managing my finances to be perhaps the most stressful constant in my life (second only to the climate crisis). I didn’t grow up with a lot—we were the kind of household that couldn’t afford to buy juice and bought ninety-nine percent of our clothes second hand, and not because thrifting was cool. Don’t get me wrong, I had what I needed, but the attitude of financial scarcity has shaped a lot of my life today, including my career path: I got a degree in engineering because I hoped for a good return on investment for an expensive Calvin education.
I didn’t grow up learning about finances from my parents, other than to know that if I wanted to buy something that wasn’t food or essential clothing, I would need to pay for it myself, and that all debt was bad debt. In many ways, I’m glad for that perspective. But as an adult, with an actual job and an actual salary, trying to be actually financially independent, ignorance is no longer an option for me.
This year, sort of as an accidental New Year’s resolution I guess, I decided that I would learn about money: how to make money, how to save money, how to invest money. How to actually make a budget, negotiate my salary, improve my credit score, and maybe one day save for a house. I have to say, I’ve hated it.
Learning about my finances hasn’t necessarily made the whole concept less scary or less threatening. This week, I’ve been navigating accepting a new job and negotiating my salary, and I can say with certainty that knowing what I need to do has not made me less freaked out.
But I’m doing it anyway.
I’ve spent the last two decades believing—consciously and unconsciously—that thinking about money, wanting money, and leveraging systems to get me more money was selfish and wrong. Now I think that it’s essential for me to advocate for my own financial freedom and pave the way for others.
The more I learn about our financial system, the more frustrated I am. Frustrated at the way we assign value to people and work, frustrated by the lack of education that perpetuates systems of oppression, and frustrated more than anything by the fact that I am not big enough or powerful enough to eschew money altogether.
I’ve learned something else in the past few months: knowing the rules of the game means I can leverage the system to my benefit—and the benefit of others. My friends, my peers, my coworkers, don’t know how to use the system to their advantage, and I’m pissed about it. Not at them, but at the systems that do not actively promote financial literacy and freedom for every person.
Maybe you’re in that boat too: are you, like me, scared of money? Do you know the difference between a Roth and traditional 401(k)? Do you know what activities actually raise and lower your credit score? (Hint: checking your score does not lower it!) Do you know how to invest? Have you ever negotiated your salary? Did you know that equal pay day (for the average white woman, not women of color or LGBTQ women) was this week!?
Thanks in part to a badass financial feminist named Tori Dunlap (listen to her Financial Feminist podcast and follow her on social @herfirst100k), I am ready to rampage. I’m talking to my friends about their savings, explaining credit scores, and telling people exactly what I’m asking for in my salary negotiations. I’m ranting about the importance (and simplicity) of investing for your future, suggesting women-lead investing firms (check out Ellevest—there’s no investment minimum and you can choose to support women-owned, minority-owned, and sustainable businesses if that’s your vibe), and sharing the data about the gender wage, wealth, and investing gap—not to mention the way our system oppressed BIPOC.
So take this as your sign to take ownership of your finances, if you haven’t already—it’s daunting, but possible. If you’ve already got your financial shit together, take this as a sign to help someone else—share your salary with your coworkers to promote pay transparency, take advantage of employer match 401(k) contributions, and vote with your dollars on organizations that matter.
It’s going to take a lot of practice and a few more decades of therapy for me to fully move from an attitude of scarcity to an attitude of abundance when it comes to my finances, but I’m trying, little by little.
For now I can start with a wealth of knowledge, freely given. Maybe you can too.
Lillie grew up on a forty-acre hay farm in Central Oregon, making the trek to Michigan to study mechanical engineering and sustainability. After graduating in 2020, she moved to Rochester, NY, where her day job as an engineer for the local gas utility funds her outdoor adventures, love of books, various craft projects, and investment in her new community.
