The days are consistently over fifty degrees now, which means it’s time to move my cases of Faygo from my trunk, where they stay cool all winter, to a fridge inside. I understand Faygo isn’t everyone’s soft drink of choice, but the wide variety of flavors and a sense of Michigan pride keep me coming back. At times in my quest to drink all the flavors (their website lists twenty-seven) it feels like I’m drowning, and there’s no sign of land. My favorite flavors are the weird ones. No other brand I can find at the grocery store is releasing pineapple soda, pineapple orange soda, or pineapple watermelon soda. Man, there’s a lot of pineapple flavors. There’s so many specific flavors that I’ve started brainstorming ones I’d like to see on shelves. If anyone from Faygo is reading, please feel free to take these ideas and run with them. The reward of drinking these should they be made is enough compensation for my brilliance. 

Strawberry Kiwi
I’ll admit this flavor is basically a gimme, but we’re starting off with low-hanging fruit. Strawberry Kiwi is a staple of fruit punch flavors, and would fit perfectly with Faygo’s style of slightly overly-sweet beverage. Sometimes I want it with just a little kick of carbonation. Faygo’s non-carbonated line, Ohana, actually has a kiwi strawberry flavor, but it doesn’t satisfy my need for fizz. Just add some bubbles Faygo, please? For me?

Twisted Orange
This is an orange and ginger soda, for the days you just need that extra heartburn. Faygo is no stranger to just adding something new to an already existing flavor (see: the three pineapple flavors), and they already have two non-pineapple orange flavors, orange soda and orange creamsicle, so I can’t see why they shouldn’t add another, with a hint of spice. All the kids are into spicy cocktails these days, right? Faygo should innovate and take this to the next step: spicy soda.

Stardust
Running with the concept of a spicer soda pop, stardust is a chai flavored soda. Is it a little confusing because it doesn’t explain what it is in the name? Yes. Is that something new to Faygo? No. Flavors like 60/40, Faygo’s version of Squirt, and Moonmist, Faygo’s version of Mountain Dew, are also confusingly named. I can imagine a darkly colored label, with some sparkly or white accents. Maybe even it could say “chai stardust” on the can, to make it really clear what people are getting.

Beigepop
Now hear me out, Faygo already has a flavor named after a color, the iconic Redpop. Beigepop takes a lot of pale-yellow flavors, banana, coconut, butter rum, and pineapple (surely a fourth pineapple flavor is fine), and blends them seamlessly into a non-alcoholic piña colada. It’s the perfect drink to curate a beach vibe, no matter if you’re in the dunes on the cape, or gettin’ caught in the rain.

Sam Tuit

Sam Tuit graduated from Calvin in 2021 with a degree in film and media. He lives in Grand Rapids and works as an event coordinator. In his free time, he loves trying new things, cooking for others, and having nuanced conversations about the stories our society is telling.