The Difference a Decade Makes
It’s 8:38 on a Friday night and I am nowhere near anything that can be described as “cool.”
Aura-n’t You Glad This Didn’t Happen to You?
I decided on aura photography because it is decently priced, comes with tangible evidence, and reminds me of Tapenga from Boy Meets World.
Living Like Scorpion (Killers)
I have been thinking about scorpions because I live in the desert, where dwell these hard-cased creatures from hell.
Samuel Chester: A Big-Freaking-Deal
The freedom to be kids and learn via mistakes is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give, and my father gave it in abundance.
Relational Permutations
Equation A: be ambitious and industrious, do not leave the workplace to the mercy of the weak minded men. Fight + win + conquer, all while rocking 6 inch stilettos and maintaining strong sex-appeal^10.
Kiss and Tell
The friends who kissed early were given the eyebrows at youth group and the girls who hadn’t kissed by college were insecure.
Help Is a Four-Letter Word
I scour the wall for any ledges, any possible edge to rest a hand or foot. Nothing. The drop to the next balcony I would guess is eight feet. Not impossible.
Five More Minutes
Their apathy towards education, even in the moments it was spoon fed to them, was almost impressive.
The Humble Retellings of a Child Archaeologist
The toy most worthy of keep-me-up-at night-excitement was the authentic kids archeology dig kit. For a mere $29.99 I could uncover the secrets of history.
I Believe in Aslan
I am as control-hungry, wealth-lusting, and greed-seeking as every antagonist in Narnia. I am worse because I am not fictional. I fear Aslan because he loves me regardless.
Tinder: An Archeological Discovery
Based off the images and captions included, file might have been an inventory of virtual fresh produce.
Dear Lyle Lovett, Please be my Pen Pal
I have no advanced skill in any area of life that lends me to glory or even mild recognition. You would be writing to a very ordinary woman of meager talent.
A Whisky Silence
Although Christmas in June is not an actual tradition, you’ve been good this year so I want to reward you with the gift of silence, and Nick Offerman.
An Etymological Update
I hope you find these entry updates linguistically accurate and culturally abhorrent.
Memo on Hell
They have entered the physical realm of the heaven but are too wrapped up in their own expectations to notice. They’ve allowed themselves to become too tainted with the promises of the world to recognize the promised land.
The Deceptively Innocuous Task of Teaching English
Nothing is trendier or, as a teacher, more likely to get your story turned into a Hollywood film about how you helped an inner city kid become this century’s Twain than to be an English Literature teacher.
Orphan Day
Caroline and I lock eyes over Bea’s back: “Jackpot!”
Ever-est
We are addicts to magnificence and depravity. If we can’t be the best we will compete to be the worst. If we can’t start the morning with the best cup of coffee, we begin the day with the worst.
Of Lice and Men
I am not thankful for lice. And I never will be. But I am thankful for men. For a certain man in particular. You will see why.
Quarter Of A Century
In a time and culture when being twenty-five, unmarried, and professional is a deeply respected symbol of detachedness, I cling to the strands of blood and body that tether me to this hallowed ground.
Don’t Buy This House
I have slept on the second floor of 6830 West Liberty Road for twenty-four years. I am intimately aware of each creak and groan of the house as it settles in the evening.
I Need an Escape
It is that stillness I search for in the transcendental north. The quiet amidst the buzz of living that I haven’t discovered in the nooks and crannies of my own hum of days.
Matter Over Mind
Family members are lured to the kitchen by the aroma and we sit to eat. We feed our bodies and remember that they matter. I understand now that life is physical.
Dummy Subjects
The great lie of our lives is that we are the main subject. The great villainy is the idea that we are the heroes. We have a debilitating hero complex.
Reasonable Rebekah
I am a 5’6” (and ¼”) self-contained universe bumping against the fringes of being-hood. There is no purpose in questioning a slab of reflection for answers only found beyond it.
To The Death
Minutes later I hear the same scuffling. The sound continues. Then a cold trickle of dread seeps into my semi-consciousness. Someone is in the house.
The Best Story I Ever Told
I know the saying is that misery loves company, but in my experience I reckon misery loves an audience. There, in the center of a circle of eager listeners, I peaked.
Focus
We pursue any available detour, texting, Snapchatting, Netflixing, to avoid the work of attention. It is slowly robbing us of joy, of that mysterious dimension.
Bait
“You might have heard that you should punch the shark in the nose. This is probably not a good idea…. In many situations in which large predators are attacking you, the advice is to ‘play dead.’ This doesn’t work against sharks. Also, it’s hard to do in the water...
Look at the Poo Poo
I asked my brother Sam, father of three, why kids hate going potty. His son Judah had, moments before, flat out denied need of the potty despite wobbling through the house with crossed legs.
