10. Bladebeak, Quest for Camelot

“I hate him, but he does make some puns (that I also hate)” — My friend and animated chicken consultant, Carrie

You might not remember him, but according to the Warner Bro’s wiki this chicken has quite a complex arc, beginning as a “quaternary antagonist” but becoming a protagonist in the climax of the film.

He begins the film as an ordinary but morally grimy chicken, flirting with a group of hens despite his WIFE’S displeasure. An evil knight then throws him into a well and magically merges him with an axe, transforming his beak into a blade. He joins with the bad guy’s forces for a time although he does have a change of heart and saves the protagonist (and his WIFE) at the climax of the film.

I’ve never heard of any quaternary antagonist, let alone one that got a redemption arc. Kids. Can. Handle. Complex. Stories.

But he’s a bad guy who makes bad puns—last place for you, m’lord.

9. Ace “Chicken Little” Cluck, Chicken Little

He’s on the list cause he’s got a whole movie. I can’t say that I found him particularly likable or unlikeable. The main thing I remember about this movie is the girl duck doing karaoke to “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls. But he’s a cute lil guy and I do like the paper shorts he makes for himself at one point. And he learns to believe in himself and his friends, blah blah blah.

8. 8. Heihei, Moana

“To put it simply, Heihei is incredibly stupid.” – The Disney Wiki

I resisted including Heihei in this list initially, I suppose because he felt too mainstream—too much merch has been sold and too recently. But I cannot deny: this is a great animated chicken. This is a chicken that dares to put the world of physical comedy on his back and say, “We still matter. There is a place for us. We can still get laughs from getting concussed in eight different ways.”

7. Chicken Joe, Surf’s Up

“Chicken Joe may be a massive stoner, but he’s ultra loyal and one hell of a surfer” — Top comment on a YouTube compilation of Chicken Joe scenes

Voiced by Napoleon Dynamite himself, this chicken brought that loose, stoner energy that every main character in a 2000’s film needed by their side. Joe is a great wingman (sorry) for Cody in both surfing and the ways of the heart. He struts like a chicken and surfs like a champion. He manages to be 100% oblivious and 100% optimistic without being annoying.

Also, he’s from Sheboygan, Wisconsin which is where my grandpa grew up. (According to the Surf’s Up wiki, “In 2004 he then moved to Yuma, Arizona to attend college online and got an online associates degree in psychology from the University of Phoenix,” which is just one of the most incredible sentences I’ve ever come across in my life.)

6. Foghorn Leghorn, Looney Tunes

This chicken has presence. This chicken has stature. This chicken has a distinct voice that I got laughs from impersonating as a kid. I will always honor him for that.

Granted, he’s kind of a schemer at times and doesn’t always operate with the purest motives, and some of his quips haven’t aged too well. But in one episode he does try to be a good role model and teach a young chick how to play croquet. And he sure is tall. 

5. Ginger, Chicken Run

“Having reasonably more common sense and intelligence compared to the other chickens, she came up with the majority of plans to escape the dystopian farm; which she pursues with relentless persistence.” — The Chicken Run Wiki

Now we’re getting into role model territory. Ginger is clever, tenacious, loyal, and generous. She will leave no chicken behind. Up against incredible odds and with, perhaps, not the most elite squad at her side, she keeps the coop alive. She is the first to see through Rocky’s ruse. She coordinates efforts to build a plane for heaven’s sake. At times the other chickens are frustrated with her, but she’s trying to keep them from getting baked into pies.

She is the patron chicken of responsible women everywhere—taking up the mantle of stick in the mud in order to get the job done.

(Also she’s voiced by Lydia Bennet from the Colin Firth Pride and Prejudice, which is fun.)

4. Miss Prissy, Looney Tunes

Charlotte Lucas. Queen Elizabeth I. At least one of the Brontës. History’s great spinsters.

Here I submit one more name to the list: this skinny chicken I totally forgot about until I was looking up Foghorn Leghorn.

Does a character I totally forgot about deserve to be in the top five? Probably not. But I took such delight rediscovering her voice and giant bonnet, I was overcome with affection. In some episodes she’s a spinster, in others she’s a widow. Never is she happily married, but at times she has a son. Who is this creature? What is her story? Somewhere in here is a women’s studies PhD dissertation waiting to happen.

Sometimes she’s drooling after Foghorn, sometimes she totally ignores him. She’s an enigma. She’s a star.

3. Alan-a-Dale, Robin Hood (1973)

Roger Miller’s minstrel cockerel sets the scene for the drama we’re about to behold not only in its characters and setting but also its mood. And then he’s not just the narrator, he jumps into the action, shooting down Sir Hiss using his lute as a makeshift bow and arrow and later crooning in the jail along with the other debtors. His wings look like big poofy medieval sleeves. Somehow he plays the lute with only feathers for fingers. 

Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly what a guy.

2. Those chickens from Spyro, Spyro the Dragon

“It released butterflies which heal your dragon.” — My brother when I asked him what the deal with these was

I implore you to check out an image of these low-poly, 1998 bad boys. I can still remember the glee of galloping along as a young dragon in this game, in between fighting weird troll creatures and trying to free the big dragons, smoking chickens left and right. The sheep are probably the headliners in this category (“Fodder” according to the wiki), but I love these chickens.

Most of my affection for them comes from my nostalgia for this video game—it was one of the first that I actually tried instead of just watching my brothers play—rather than any particularly rich or distinguishing quality they possess. But the task is to rank by appeal, and these sure do appeal to me.

Now, a moment of silence to prepare ourselves for first place in our list. A bird of such character, such quality, that she inspired this whole endeavor:

1. Lady Kluck aka Clucky, Robin Hood (1973)

“I love her so much.” — Me

Lady-in-waiting and loyal friend to Maid Marian. Gorgeous Scottish accent. Athletic. (Badminton at the beginning of the movie and then, and do yourself a favor, the football sequence when she stiff arms and dodges an army of rhinos). She makes fun of Prince John right from the top and isn’t intimidated by him, even though he’d have the authority to put her on the street—probably partly because she’s Scottish and thus doesn’t have such a pleasant history with English kings, but also just because she’s a woman of sense.

She manages to be both tender and strong, supporting Marian and Robin and the wee bunny children while not putting up with anyone’s nonsense—she dodges John’s entire troupe of guards and jabs him with an arrow giving Marian time to escape into the forest.

She consoles, she protects, she plays, and she parties. I want Clucky by my side. I hope I can be a Clucky to others.

Someday I will write a whole article about her.

Honorable mentions:

• Chicken Little’s Dad
• Rocky from Chicken Run
• All the other chickens from Chicken Run
• Feathers McGraw, the penguin from Wallace and Gromit because both Wallace and Google’s AI think he’s a chicken