“What would it take for you to stop saying that?” asked my coworker over lunch.

He quickly clarified that he didn’t mean to be critical; he was just curious. And I believed him (though, if he had been making fun of me, it would’ve been justified). We considered several possible motivators—including five million dollars—and couldn’t find a sufficient one.

After weeks of further reflection, I’ve concluded that nothing short of brain injury, death, or at least a traumatic event could halt my chorus of “so true”s.  It’s become as reflexive as blinking, as thoughtless as the air moving through my lungs. It is so true that I can’t stop saying “so true.”

How did I end up this way? So true. I’m a creature of consistency, who is extra susceptible to a good catchphrase. I spent my senior year at Calvin saying “dab!” (but that’s another story). My friend Becca, who is cooler than me, was patient zero in my “so true” outbreak that year—likely having heard it on Instagram or TikTok.

But only once I’d graduated, and found myself adrift in society, did I realize the power of “so true.” I had one particular epiphany while joining a group in which several of the guys often made offensive jokes. Some group members laughed along, others were affronted. As the newcomer, I felt the weight of my reaction.

I didn’t like these jokes. But I also didn’t like conflict or convincing twenty-five-year-old men to be respectful. What could I do?

“So True” to the rescue! Say it with enough dryness, a mix of sarcasm and cynical amusement, and…am I approving? I’m not. But I’m not starting a fight either. I’m keeping you guessing—which means I’m cool.

Soooo true.

Thus began my “so true” era. It’s so versatile. It can hold anything, from glee to dismay. It’ll hype up your girlfriends, hold space while you’re thinking, or turn deadpan to negate its meaning. It’s your “amen,” your “word,” your “whatever.” It’s whatever you need it to be—if you have the inflection to pull it off.

(Which brings me to something I’ve been told I must address: the song “That’s So True” by Gracie Abrams. If you’re looking for a skilled delivery of “so true,” this song…is not it. Abrams sacrifices its inflective potential for her song’s rhythm. Which is a valid choice, even as it saddens me to hear the phrase warped into so many “ooh-ooh”s.)

My final favorite thing about “so true”? Its affirming quality. One of my friends likes to quip: “I didn’t realize we’re qualifying truth these days; I thought we just had ‘true’ or ‘not true.’” But he’s a hater who’s taken philosophy classes. Conversationally, “so true” conveys acceptance or affection for the speaker more than it conveys intellectual agreement. It’s a hospitable alternative to “yeah” or “okay” or other listening noises. When I say “so true,” I’m not just saying “I hear you.” I’m saying, “I’m listening—and regardless of how I feel about your words, I welcome you here.” I like to think that even in sarcasm, “so true” retains an echo of recognition and respect.

Can “so true” lead us into civil discourse? Probably not. But for me, it’s become a useful way to communicate goodwill, opinions notwithstanding. Isn’t that something we could use more of these days?

Drop a “so true” in the comments if you agree.

Eleanor Lee

Eleanor Lee (‘23) graduated from Calvin with degrees in computer science and writing. She grew up in South Carolina but currently lives in Grand Rapids, Michigan. She loves coffee, laughing, and bringing emojis to the workplace.