Our theme for October is Childhood Fears.
The other day I was with a couple close friends and we were telling each other about our life updates and the people we’d seen recently. A little bit into the back and forth, my friend told me that I was the only person our age she knew that was friends with “adults.” I guess the allegations are true—twenty-somethings are not adults.
I thought this was hilarious because to me, it hardly feels true, and because when I was a child, I was very scared of talking to adults.
I wasn’t afraid of them in the way I was scared of the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or the Nazis at the end of Sound of Music. I think I was scared that I would look stupid. I didn’t like being underestimated or being called cute. And talking to adults felt a little too risky on these fronts.
All of my siblings were also shy, although I’m not quite sure what their motivations were. But apparently this was a big enough trend in my family that my parents decided we needed some kind of nudge to get out of our shells a bit more. So, they designed a point system. If we said hello to an adult (at church or when they had friends over or whenever), said their name and finished the conversation without going silent, we’d get a point. 100 points would get us an American Girl Doll or a Matchbox Car race track (toys we were very interested in at the time). Parents sure are creative.
I’m not honestly sure if my parents waited until we all had completed our 100 points to gift us our rewards, but I will never forget the day I got home from school, went up to my room, and found it spotless with an American Girl Doll on my bed. In case you were wondering, I got Kaya. I bet if you asked each of my siblings, they’d remember that day too. Pure joy.
I think as I’ve grown up, I’ve come to realize that all of us, even “adults” (whoever fits into that bucket), are alive for the first time. Adults mess up. They feel sad, lonely, upset. They mess up and sometimes they apologize. They want to belong, they want to succeed. They over-commit themselves. Some of my professors in college were procrastinating and scrambling before their presentations just as I was scrambling to get my big papers done in time. They’re all learning different lessons at different times.
I love surrounding myself with people in different stages of life and getting a glimpse into all the beautiful and messy parts of life.
Madeline Witvliet (’25) graduated from Calvin with a degree in English. She can be found in coffee shops in Eastown, exploring Michigan’s state parks, or singing with Calvin’s Alumni Choir. Madeline enjoys spending time outdoors, crafting, and cooking Mediterranean-inspired meals.
