In the following, you’ll get an exclusive and revealing look into what (and how) I wrote in my personal journal eight years and four months ago (that’s 2016, folks). As a fun thought exercise, I will give my updated thoughts for my thoughts:
Why I Love The National
Because they reflect what I love, what I am, and how I think and feel so perfectly.
This is definitely not true anymore, even though I enjoy a good National song every once in a while. I didn’t fully connect with The First Two Pages of Frankenstein, so their most recent album that spoke to me was their 2019 album I Am Easy to Find.
Although it’s on the longer side, songs like “Quiet Light” are among their most perfect. A YouTube commenter named @codaboi138 put it nicely, saying, “This is one of those songs that hits you with some really specific emotions, reminds you of something you try not to think about. You know exactly what this song is saying and, for me atleast, it hurts a lot.”
Because they grow on you so much, I think that’s a mark of quality and lasting-ness that only the highest works possess. Of course some works are subjective but that’s the whole point of this.
Wow, I was such a great writer.
A good song to use as an example of their potentness is one of my favorites: “Think You Can Wait”
This song was written and recorded, as far as I understand, by The National for the quiet indie movie Win Win (2011) starring Paul Giamatti and was written and directed by Tom McCarthy (who later wrote and directed 2015’s Spotlight). Fun fact, I watched Win Win on my laptop in my dorm room simply because it had this song in it.
Throughout the song, the lyrics go to lurid [I have an arrow pointing to that word saying “can’t look that word up.” It’s good to know my habit of looking up word definitions started early], sorrowful places:
“I was slipping, crying”
“Been away from the baby way too long”
“We’ve been holding a goodnight gun”
But also steps into grim “I’m going to do something good” mentality. The line “I’ll pull the devil down with me one way or another” speaks volumes to me. There’s no doubt of his intentions no matter what he’s going through. I feel this way often.
With the benefit of hindsight, I could for sure cast some doubt.
The National frequently taps into the 90s American psyche.
I think this is a classic example of thinking of an initial idea, deciding it’s amazing, and just going with it through many layers of confirmation bias sludge.
The middle class is doing financially well, but not spiritually or mentally. (Office Space, American Beauty, Fight Club) → They’re searching for a higher meaning. Some Americans, and one would assume the members (or lyricists) of the band are fighting this still.
I still haven’t seen American Beauty.
I empathize with this because even though I know that my life is amazing and blessed, I still feel sorrow, pain, wondering, remorse, hopelessness, and the usual subject matter and experiential mine that in which The National delves often.
Although I feel a kinship with my previous self, I hope you know how much it pains me to refrain from editing this journal entry. My sincere apologies.
I think this feeling of being lost in routine and a non-threatening life causing doubt and questioning is in every one of their songs in some way.
Bold claim, but I remember feeling that way.
This is shown through the line, “All I have is all,” sung in beautiful alto, implying that life every moment, is all you’ll ever get. Simple, but what do you do with that information? “Everything means Everything” echoes this thought in “Conversation 16.”
And this was before Everything Everywhere All At Once!
I could go on with the philosophies of The National, but I’ll end with the most important part. The end of the song. “I’m trying” repeated implies that life is an endless struggle. Your struggle. My struggle. But the song ends with, “But I couldn’t be better.”
“But I couldn’t be better.”
“But I couldn’t be better.”
This still hits hard.
That’s exactly how I feel in this torn world because I get to experience
life.
For how open-hearted, clunky, and cheesy this writing is, I still agree with the core of what I was trying to say.
Even if they’re no longer my favorite band, I still love The National. Even if I’m less moody and better adjusted, I’m still susceptible to bouts of existential emotion. Even if much of life is pain and frustration, I still feel lucky to experience it with the people I love.
Isaac graduated Calvin in 2019 studying English, secondary education and recently finished being an English teacher for the past few years. He’s currently a resident director at Hope College while also taking classes so he can become an art teacher. Isaac loves movies and lighthouses more than most things.
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As someone whose favorite band has long been The National, this was a joy to read. And while “90’s American Psyche” is delightfully specific, I do find a lot of resonance with what I’d call a more general “quiet suburban crisis” within their work. In short, 2016 you and 2024 me seem to have a lot in common — including an affection for “Think You Can Wait.”
I love The National and yet I somehow also love this article by music critics Carl Wilson about how he hates The National. The duality of man!
https://slate.com/culture/2013/05/the-nationals-trouble-will-find-me-reviewed-too-many-crescendos.html
Reality, unfortunately is dark. But, not without hope. The search is the point of life.
If you love movies, you must watch ‘American Beauty’ without further delay.