Assembled entirely from two weeks of subject lines found in the spam folder of info@stlukesrenton.org.
You can be her loving demon, able to satisfy all her dirty wishes for hours.
Want to thump her wild?
Get ready and poke your lady until sun rises!
You can show your girl who’s the best driller on Earth!
Do you know how to turn a girl on?
Thunder in your bed, solidity in your bone-ons!
Better stiffness – better satisfaction!
Set your libido level to maximum!
Make a macho of yourself!
I want to meet you!
can you meet me?
come to me tomorrow?
come to me?
Oh, it seems I’m ready to be yours today.
Want your loving not to be a routine?
Don’t let your vigor collapse!
help is needed
could you help me
help is needed
Every man can have manhood problems.
What will you do today?
what are your plans for the weekend?
You are free?
could you help me
i don’t know where i am
If all men were the same as you…
Spend holidays in bed, and do not forget
Haven’t you seen it yet? Oh hell, and why I have not found it before
Therefore you can get medications of different, etc.
Your way of making love champion of yourself will be easy!
Treat the lack of male strength with ease!
let’s do it
Your masculinity gets super boost in 20 minutes you’ve taken our wonder-pill!
One pill and firmness will return to it!
It can make your wiener a real piece of steel when it comes to action!
Knock on her wet cave’s door ten times a night with our super pills!
Using this doping will give your couple the night of your dreams
She will think about how good you are at Night Olympics, you will think: Thank you, great
Remind myself
Unlucky days are over!
You are free?
NPR called Josh “a modern-day Jack Kerouac” after he wrote about his 7,000-mile, no-money hitchhiking journey through the United States. After hitchhiking, he found homes in the Pacific Northwest, the Episcopal Church, and the post calvin. He now helps authors introduce their books to the world as the marketing manager for HarperCollins Leadership, builds websites as the owner of Branded Look LLC, and makes trail maps as the owner of Where We’ve Been Trail Maps. Josh’s writing has appeared in places such as The Emerson Review, Front Porch Review, and Perspectives.
This is absolutely incredible. All my spam emails at work are about fake dental insurance and wildly expensive corporate training courses. Hard to make fun poetry with “Your Costco bonus is ready to be claimed” and “Volusion advanced search and filter on steroids” 😉
Yesterday I happened to read the McSweeney’s Internet Tendency submission guide, which gently discourages any submission that is “a list of goofy email names from spam you received.” Clearly they hadn’t anticipated your genius on this precise subgenre of writing. Their loss!
I enjoyed your post to maximum 🙂
I’m a little concerned about reading this on my school computer! Blaming you if I get called to the principal’s office.
Do we need a post calvin NSFW label?
You can tell Brad they’re all work emails, which isn’t even lying.
“Every man can have manhood problems” doesn’t even have to be about dicks! “Using this doping will give your couple the night of your dreams.” Wait. Is this saying it’s given as a gift to OTHERS?
Am I reading into this too much?