Whole weeks are going by.
We eat eggs every morning now
with every window thrown open. 

I would like to think I had prepared for this—
by going around like Christopher McCandless,
saying, “I have had a good life and I am happy,”
trying to savor the monotony and routine.
God can take me home now if he wants to!
(Just save my sangria.)

I would also ask that he spare my family—especially my father.
Actually, don’t take anyone,
even the worst of us!
This is no time for moral relativism
and it’s a great & terrible time to quit smoking.
What difference does it make?

When we met the nurse on the roof and she was wearing a flower crown and said,
“Do you want a cigarette? I promise they are corona-free.”
And when we asked her about the hospital she said,
“We will all have PTSD after this.”

I told her my sister was a nurse in Michigan,
and when I brought up my parents she assumed they live there too.
This is always happening.
(The assumption… and me bringing up my family.)

I didn’t tell her we are planning on leaving too,
and I won’t get to say goodbye.

You should know I had grand plans to invite you
to get high and sit under the blue whale at the Natural History Museum
and play cribbage or something. 

I was also going to get just drunk enough
To tell all my friends that I am in love with them
even more than New York!
(Yes)… but also because I met them here. 

To think I was crying on the subway in February
just thinking of that melancholy party
where I would mourn my metropolitan mortality.

I assumed that would be the hardest part of this season.
How embarrassing.

1 Comment

  1. Kyric Koning

    And yet you share anyway. That is a true blessing.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

post calvin direct

Get new posts from Caroline (Higgins) Nyczak delivered straight to your inbox.

the post calvin