Our theme for the month of October is “haunt.”
Ghoul-d afternoon, and welcome to the long-awaited piece that has been highly requested specifically by Geneva in one comment on my October post last year.
That’s right, after my plans were thwarted in 2023, it’s finally time for the sequel post: Places I Would Haunt if I Were Jane Austen’s Ghost Specifically, written by your resident Jane Austen expert who has (you guessed it!) never read a single Jane Austen book.
I never did learn to speed read in college, and I’m not about to start now, so I’ll be building this case based on the crucial ingredients of a) vibes alone b) the play version of Sense and Sensibility I saw at Calvin, and c) my understanding of Pride and Prejudice, which comes exclusively from the five-hour long BBC version and my recollections of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries.
Let’s get into it!
1. A tea party.
I mean, obviously. Right? What’s more quintessential Jane Austen than a tea party (I assume)? Sure, maybe it’s rare to formally invite your loved ones over for tea and cakes (at least for Americans), but if you’re drinking tea with a friend on a blustery evening and gossiping about how your cousin was defrauded last week, you can bet Austen is hovering.
2. A podcast recording session.
Speaking of gossiping, I feel like Austen’s ghost would feel right at home in a podcast recording session, especially the kind that focuses on relationship advice. What was that big reveal about how Mr. Wickham nearly disgraced his former lover if not just the kind of story that would feature on a podcast? Some listener would call in to complain about an ex’s outrageous behavior, and Jane would be rolling her eyes with the rest of the podcast (g)hosts.
3. Bath, England.
She did live there for a while, after all. If I were a ghost, I don’t think I’d want to travel too far around the globe since, you know, ghosts get sore muscles from floating across the ocean the same as the rest of us. This one’s more of a practical concern.
4. Austen, West Virginia.
Just kidding. This one was just a test to see if you were paying attention one bullet point ago when I said ghosts don’t like to travel long distances. Although, I’d imagine West Virginia does have quite a few fields in which to dramatically fall ill after a rainy tromp.
5. A family party.
The subtle interpersonal dynamics. The raised eyebrows across the room. The dancing, I guess. Given the number of parties in her books, a number we both know off the top of our heads as fellow Jane Austen experts, this one’s a no-brainer.
6. That space outside of a party where someone left the door open, leading to perhaps a small patio, or a balcony, or a front-yard where you can stare into the foggy night and relish the quiet contrasted with the boisterous evening within and try to let the unspoken feelings pass through you under the starry sky.
Like I said, the vibes are right.
7. On the back of a horse.
My mom claims that she saw, “half, or possibly a quarter of an adaptation where someone came swooping in on a horse, or maybe not.” Such expertise cannot be discarded, so onto the list it goes.
Now that my confident assertions on Jane Austen’s vibe have left more than a few ghosts rolling in their graves, I can rest assured that my work here is done. I mean, unless people that have actually read Austen’s work have any other ideas.
Hannah McNulty graduated from Calvin in 2021 and stuck around Grand Rapids, against all odds. She has spent her last few years singing in choir, teaching herself to love reading again, and trying to learn every fiber art simultaneously. She currently works at Eerdmans Publishing, where you can find her burying her nose in old paperwork and forcing anyone within earshot to listen to her bad puns.
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I am not a ghost but am definitely rolling over (ROFLing) in my metaphorical grave. As an enormous Austen fan I wanna be mad but this was too funny