One of my first acts as a Toronto resident was to join my local Buy Nothing group on Facebook. Buy Nothing groups exist in twenty-eight countries, all fifty US states, most Canadian provinces, and even the Yukon. According to the mission statement of the Buy Nothing Project, these groups “offer people a way to give and receive, share, lend, and express gratitude through a worldwide gift economy network in which the true wealth is the web of connections formed between people.”

These groups are a forum for people in your neighborhood to post photos of items they no longer want or request items they are looking for. If you’re interested, just leave a comment. The person offering the item might choose the person who can arrive the fastest, but many let the posts “simmer” so everyone who may want something can get the chance to be considered. One member of my group uses a “random name picker” website to choose her gift recipients. I like to select the commenter with the most detailed story about how they’d like to use the item I offer.

The intent of a Buy Nothing group is to be “hyperlocal,” with stated geographic boundaries that members must live in so that a walk or bus ride can bring you to any other member’s home. Covid has taken away some of the personal nature of the group, with most items being left outside on the porch for contact-free exchange. Still, I’ve loved the brief encounters I’ve gotten to have with generous and grateful group members. 

I love digging through my post and comment history in the group as a chronicle of my days in this city. Like Paula, I can use these scribblings as a geological survey of my history here. Like Katerina, I look to them to hint towards what life was like during a particular time and place.

• “Happy to take the puzzles off your hands!”
• “May I have the Stephen King dark tower series? “
• “I’ll take the scoby! Been hoping to start brewing kombucha again.”

My comments on others’ posts in late 2020 and early 2021 came from a place of unemployment and loneliness. Eager for new ways to pass the time, I’d drive anywhere for a new book or puzzle. I dove into Stephen King’s work and dared to begin reading his sprawling multiverse series. I perfected my blueberry kombucha recipe.

• “Offering dog chew toys, brush, bed, and rawhide. All gently used (and gotten bored of) by my picky pup.”
• “Looking for an old deflated soccer ball. My doggo loves to fetch but the basketball we’ve been kicking around hurts our feet!”
• “Please add me to the draw for the flea medicine, thanks so much!
  

My dog was my best companion during those long days of unemployment while my husband worked. I spent long afternoons at dog parks, watching my dog make the friends I couldn’t due to lockdown. From the Buy Nothing group I met and stayed in touch with Ann and her yappy dachshunds, Sonja with the doodle who walks perfectly off-leash, and Sharlene the doggie foster parent.

• “In search of: house painting supplies to borrow. Finally ready to paint over the horrid orange-brown in our bedroom, but I don’t want to buy new if I’m only going to use once!”
• “Anyone have a hand mixer they’re not using?”
• “My banana trees have been putting out babies like crazy. If I separate and repot them would anyone be interested?”
• “Hybrid bike tires. 700x38C. Good condition, we just switched to road bike tires.” 
• “Offering: Scrap countertop marble. One of those cool things I found on the curb thinking ‘I could craft something with this!’ and never did”
• “I’ve moved 3 times since acquiring this guitar and I have not played it once. Someone please take it and promise you won’t forget it in a closet like its last 2 owners have!”

I learned to cook and propagate banana trees. I biked through Toronto’s gorgeous ravines. I finished several projects, painting two new art pieces and one ugly bedroom. And I gave up on other plans, admitting to myself that I am not going to be a craftsman of recycled marble or a guitarist. I became more at home in Toronto, and became more active in the Buy Nothing group.

• “Anybody have a spare humidifier they’re no longer using? The air is so dry at my house we’re in nosebleed territory…”
• “Could I borrow some crutches? Managed to break my pinky toe right before vacation.”
• “In search of: a pulse oximeter to borrow for monitoring oxygen. Covid has hit my house pretty hard. Thanks!”

I survived health issues…

• “Offering: cat space pants. These drawstring joggers feature a cat riding a piece of bacon, in space. Enough said.”
• “Anyone want this drip coffee maker? We’ve switched to espresso!”
• “I rocked these dresses on some great first dates and my college graduation, but now I’m ready to pass them on.”
• “American Eagle Jeans size 10, because it’s time to admit I will never fit into these again (lol)”
• “Photo display hanger from my wedding, adorable childhood photos of my husband and me not included :)”

Let go of old memories…

• “I’d love to be considered for the parenting books and What to Expect When You’re Expecting, I’m not a parent yet but eager to learn!”

And planned ahead for new memories as I hoped to conquer my fears of someday becoming a parent. 

Receiving gifts from the Buy Nothing group was lovely, but my heart was most warmed by giving. From the old dresses to the guitar for someone’s kid’s lessons, I was thrilled that my trash could be someone else’s treasure. Sure, I could drop these things off at a thrift store, but there’s a sentimental satisfaction in knowing who receives your old possessions and being assured they’ll be put to good use. 

My favorite item I gave away was a child-size faux fur coat that I received from an overseas clothing company. I had clicked on their sketchy Facebook ad to order a dress for my brother’s wedding, but received the bizarre coat instead. When I shared a photo of it to the group, a woman said her fashionable second-grade son would love it. After I gave it to her, she tagged me in a “gratitude post” with a photo of her son in the coat, looking positively runway-ready on the playground. They made my online ordering mishap infinitely worth the trouble.

It’s not always easy to know your neighbors, but this little gift economy has helped me feel closer to mine—even when our closest form of contact is porch pickup. When I settle down in Windsor, I’ll join a new Buy Nothing group and start a new story there in my giving and receiving.

Laura Sheppard Song

Laura graduated from Calvin in 2015 with a degree in art and writing. She lives in Toronto, Ontario, with her husband Josh and dog Rainy. She works as an IT support analyst and enjoys painting, rock climbing, and exploring the city.