I frequent this hyperspecific wiki based on the game that everyone in my life is sick of hearing about. It’s gotten to the point where I have a tab of it always open, pinned for easy access to double-check a game mechanic or find the newest art in the game.
Around January, they started running a banner like ones I’ve seen on Wikipedia: if one percent of the site’s visitors donated one dollar, the wiki would be set for years to come. At one point, I remarked to my friend, “Everytime I see that banner, I get closer to donating to them.”
I haven’t yet. I’ve got bigger fish weighing on my mind.
My church, like many other small neighborhood-focused churches, isn’t doing well financially. I think about it more than is healthy, likely. We’ve been going around and around: reminding each other to trust God but also that we are called to be good stewards; researching grants but also struggling with finding people to work on them who aren’t already committed to things; taking a hard look at budgeting but but deciding to focus more on fundraising rather than trimming from our already combed-over line items; framing giving as another way to get involved with the good work our church is doing. I put my money where my mouth is and asked people to donate (and will probably use this post as an excuse to do it again).
I recently listened to my father and signed up for a high-interest savings account, and I was feeling pretty good about myself until I listened to a few colleagues of mine vent about the disparity between the amount of work we are expected to do and the amount we are paid. One said, “Like I’m being underpaid and I’m not working towards a pension and my taxes are going up—what am I doing?” Then I started to worry: I feel financially sound, enough to buy a pricey plane ticket for a spring break trip, but what’s going to happen when I want to buy a house/replace my car/deal with an emergency. What if I’m going to look back on these years and think, “If only I had ______…”? Let’s not even talk about retirement.
Neither of these concerns are unique. Sometimes I think too much and talk myself out of asking for donations because of the fact that churches are closing everywhere and everyone is strapped for money. And yet, I’m stuck on this simple banner and how effective it is on me. There’s a reason Patreon exists, why people donate to Twitch streamers, why I can still listen to NPR podcasts, why AO3 makes its yearly goal every year, why the post calvin was able to commission new site art, why that wiki is still running despite its parent company threatening to shut down six months ago. Even though I’m peripherally worried about my financial future, I still want to give to the things that have given me joy or entertainment or knowledge.
Ask and you shall receive, if you’re high enough on the priorities list, if you’re not being ground up into sausage in the job market.
I hope it’s enough to get my church through another year.
Alex Johnson (‘19) is a high school English teacher in Massachusetts. She spends her days being an uncool adult who enjoys reading romance novels and explaining niche rhythm game strategies.
