How to Calm Your Nervous System

Our theme for the month of March is “How to.”

As an anxious girlie, calming my nervous system often feels like a full time job. And my social media feeds treat it as such! My primary care physician, several functional medicine doctors, my therapist, and the resident internet experts have spoken: calming your nervous system can be stressful.

However, all my efforts in this area have awarded me at least a semblance of progress (I hope).

The how to list I started with:

1. Stress yourself out so much you get lightheaded.

2. Realize you need to calm your nervous system.

3. Scroll Instagram reels endlessly looking for assistance with this task. Get overwhelmed.

4. Disassociate.

5. Gather the courage to try again.

6. Let the outside noise go.

7. Start small and approach yourself with grace. Doing something new will feel strange at first!

I wish I was exaggerating, but when I feel anxious, I literally pass out. One of my new favorite sayings is: “Oh that? I’ve passed out for less.” And I mean it—I have.

This involuntary reaction began only in instances of severe pain (i.e. slamming my finger in a gym door before basketball practice). It has escalated to any time I’m in a doctor’s office (hello, needles??) and now surfaces at any moment I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed. Obviously, it’s not convenient to topple over at the drop of a hat in a grocery store, let’s just say for fun (true story—shoutout to my dad for catching me). So calming my nervous system has become a very central focus of my consciousness of late.

My go-to list now is a little more in depth than the original, and also hopefully more helpful.

1. Unfortunately, drinking less coffee really does make a difference. Rude, I know. Matcha gives you a little caffeine kick without the frantic energy—plus has other health benefits—if you can con yourself into drinking something so grass-adjacent.

2. Sleep helps, though it’s much harder to come by when one’s nervous system is dysregulated.

3. Truthfully, the best thing for my nervous system has been setting boundaries. There’s one you don’t hear preached to you on the Instagram reels as often! The influencers can’t sell you a magic elixir for learning how to say “no”, or “not right now.” Listening to my body when a situation or a person makes me anxious has been life changing. It sounds mysterious, but protecting yourself and your peace really are fundamental components of remaining calm.

4. As well as letting (safe) people into your mess. I am lucky enough to have people around me who really do love at all times, even when I’m having a moment™. Investing in those people and showing up as imperfect and still receiving love? A very healing experience.

5. Be gentle with yourself: you are likely unraveling generational trauma and trying to carry things that aren’t even yours. Not to mention you are living in a world where we are constantly connected and bombarded with news of terrible things happening globally at every second. No biggie!

6. Always practice gratitude. It may seem small, but it is one of the greatest gifts you can give your nervous system. I’ve noticed the less time I spend on social media and the more time I spend thinking about all the good around me, the less I feel like some material thing is missing. The fewer tabs I have open on my phone, the more I’m investing in my dreams and relationships.

7. And last but not least, walk it out. I’ve found in moments of anxiety, walking has helped me process and move through life better than most anything else. There’s a lot of scientific evidence behind this, but you can take my word for it—it works wonders.

There’s no perfect recipe, and no day is the same as the one before. But the more connected you feel to yourself and what you need, the more prepared you are for handling the inevitable ups and downs of this life. And hopefully, you too can avoid passing out at inopportune times. It’s all in a day’s work!