Hello, demon hound
Of course I heard your barking
It made my brain bleed

Hi hi hi hi hi!
We’re home, it’s so exciting!
[Cute nonsense noises]

No, no, ugh, please stop
That’s a rug corner, Phoebe
Not a fabric treat

You are the longest
bear and/or pup in the world
Or at least this block

Asleep on the couch
Legs splayed all over the place
What a good clown dog

You have to poop, dog
I know your bathroom schedule
Stop munching the dirt

Stop being so cute
You know how weak my will is
Fine, just a few pets

Not looking at you
Because you crave attention
But I’m the boss here

I hate the crate too
It’s big and ugly, but, well,
This is how you learn

Smart and mischievous
Always looking to do crimes
I love you so much

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