Our theme for the month of June is “confessions.”

By the time 2025 comes to a close, I will have been a bridesmaid in nine total weddings, and maid of honor three times. My coworkers joke that I’m living the plot of 27 Dresses, which isn’t entirely untrue. (Although technically three of the weddings did use the same bridesmaids dress—shout out Azazie for making the perfect shade of eucalyptus).

Whenever I answer the question, “How many weddings have you been in?” I’m met with a shocked expression. Yes, it has been a financial commitment each time during the beginning of my career. Yes, I’ve been using most of my PTO for bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, and destination weddings. Yes, it sometimes feels like a full time job.

I’ve mastered the day-of emergency kit: stain remover, ibuprofen, fabric tape (a true life-saver), mints, safety pins, bobby pins, WATER. My fellow bridesmaids call me Mary Poppins for my bag full of supplies.

It is undoubtedly a commitment of time and of money. Leading up to each wedding I’ve admittedly felt overwhelmed by it all.

But I’ve also been up close and present for my people on one of their biggest days. I’ve had the honor of witnessing so many love stories and God’s hand in each of them. I’ve been the last one to walk away from the bride before she walked down the aisle to marry her person. The pre-wedding jitters, the excitement, the morning coffee runs, the hours of hair and makeup. The matching pajamas and the bandages covering all of our feet to keep from blistering wearing in our heels, the tissues crammed in dress pockets. Singing “Chapel of Love” and dancing our way through the church doors. All the little moments that make up a day they’ll always remember. I wouldn’t miss any of it for the world. It is my favorite thing to celebrate my people.

When my fiancé and I got engaged, my first thought was eloping. Honestly? I’ve been through the wedding song and (literal) dance so many times it felt like too much to plan one for myself. I just Want. To. Be. Married. Without being the center of attention…or spending an obscene amount of money on chicken for 200 guests.

As time has passed, we’ve talked more about spending a day with our community. In my overwhelmed planner state, I set up a few venue visits, just to see. Last night, we visited a venue and absolutely fell in love, and suddenly I could picture it all. Something in me knows I want to celebrate and be surrounded by our friends and family, regardless of the details that go into it.

As a professional bridesmaid turned bride, I can’t wait to spend time with my closest people on my day. When I think about the friends I’ll have standing up with me, I know they wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, even though it will require travel and hotel rooms and rental cars. They’ve supported me through so many life stages, many of them cringey, and I know they’ll be the first calls through every future phase.

I was so anxious about having everyone’s eyes on me, but it occurred to me (with the help of my lovely therapist) that those eyes on me would be loving and supportive. They would be my mother’s eyes—she has been eagerly awaiting this day ever since I brought Justin home. My father’s eyes as he walks me down the aisle and inevitably wells up as he tells me he’s proud of me. My best friends looking on as I marry the man who they’ve watched carry me through the ups and downs of the past three years—a steady hand. I don’t want to let my anxiety steal that joy.

I always knew I was a good bridesmaid, but I was afraid to let myself be the bride. Now, I’m so grateful for the opportunity to celebrate with the people who love us so much.

Olivia Harre

Olivia graduated from Calvin in May 2018 with a double major in business and writing. She now works as an editor in Nashville, Tennessee and is eating her way through the restaurants of her new town. She enjoys weekend trips with friends, petting other people’s dogs, and drinking coffee like a Gilmore Girl.