The Floor

I am so excited to finally visualize my new apartment. IKEA will have everything I need, so I can just be done shopping after today! 

How does this work? I guess we start upstairs? I think I smell meatballs. I’ve heard those are good.

Wow, this place is beautiful.  I should probably move to Scandinavia and decorate my whole house like this. 

We should just grab a bag, right? We won’t need a cart… we’re just looking.

Oh wow, they have arrow lights on the ground! I’m not sure if that is helpful or intimidating. Maybe it’s both.

Okay this is a beautiful room. How can I make my apartment look exactly like this display? 

*Takes photo of every reference tag 

I’m sorry, shelving units cost HOW MUCH? I guess I don’t need shelves… nothing wrong with making a pile of books on the floor. I’m sure I can make it look aesthetically pleasing.

But do I actually have to “anchor” this bookshelf to the wall? That sounds a bit excessive. 

Will I hate myself if I have to put this together?

IT IS ALL SO OVERWHELMING.

How did we end up walking against the arrows? That is a real feat. We must have taken an unintentional shortcut. 

Do I even like any of these things? 

Oh this chair is so cute, and surprisingly comfortable. But is this one over here cuter? 

*Plops down on display bed  *Takes a short nap

Just kidding, the cuter chair is $100 more. I really need to work on my expensive taste.

This kitchen is straight out of HGTV. Has Joanna Gaines seen this sink? 

This is getting out of hand… I don’t think I have room for a bookshelf, a desk, a kitchen table, an island, a sectional, AND a wing chair in my tiny apartment. We need to rein it in. 

That’s it… I’m just going to save myself the trouble and move right into IKEA. I honestly don’t think anyone would notice.

There’s a play area? They truly thought of everything. 

Wait…haven’t we been here before? Maybe they don’t ever let you leave.

Oh thank goodness, I see the escalator.

The Marketplace

The bag is not going to cut it. I’m getting a cart. 

Floor mat, check. Whisk, check. Drinking glasses, check. Cheese grater, check. 

Didn’t I only come here to look at bedframes? 

This cart has a complete mind of its own. I’m going to take out a display, or a small child. But at least I’ll get my workout for the day.

Who knew pillows were so expensive? 

“Of course we picked the defective cart. It only moves forward at a sideways angle, even with two people pushing it,” we explained to the clearly indifferent checkout clerk, who raised his eyebrows and muttered, “I can see that.” 

Oh forget it, I’ll just buy everything online. 

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