Birds are awesome. Everyone knows this; they’re pretty, they make fun noises, they compel humans into a longing for the freedom of flight, etc, etc. Some people are afraid of/don’t like birds, but those people are wrong.

If I am biased towards birds, it is without doubt the fault of my grandfather, who both loved birds and had a vast repertoire of knowledge concerning their distinctive traits, calls, habits, and personalities. He singlehandly turned fellow feelings towards our feathered friends into a Koster family trait, peppering our childhood vacations up north with bird facts.

In honor of those happy days, please enjoy a by-no-means exhaustive list of the birds I can at least recognize sometimes in northern Michigan, organized by color, because that’s how Stan Tekiela’s 1999 classic Birds of Michigan organizes them. (I have it on good authority that the more sun-faded your copy of Birds of Michigan is, the better the information inside. Our copy has great information.)

NB: The following contains bird opinions, not bird facts. All errors (and there will be errors) are my own.

Red-winged Blackbird: I see these guys most along highways, perched on tall grasses and distinguishable only by the red flash on the wing. Apparently they’re extremely common and quite aggressive, but I like them.

American Crow: It’s a crow.

Turkey Vulture: You get excited because a large shadow passes overhead and you think you’ve just seen some extremely exciting bird of prey. It’s not; it’s a turkey vulture. It’s always a turkey vulture.

Downy Woodpecker & Hairy Woodpecker: I can’t tell these guys apart and I don’t believe that you can either.

Pileated Woodpecker: Now this is a woodpecker! Majestic, red-crested, and the size of a small dog. No notes.

Bald Eagle: Alright, jeez, for once in your life it’s not a turkey vulture. Just this once, okay?

Purple Martin: Not seen since the purple martin house across the river got torn down, which is a shame since according to Stan Tekiela these guys only live in manmade houses in Michigan (or at least they did in 1999). Typical millennials getting shafted by the modern housing market.

Blue Jay: These guys are slightly too big for our feeders so they have to awkwardly curl themselves around the perches to get to the seed. Don’t think that will stop them, though; blue jays stop for nothing. Pro tip: If you hear a bird screaming at you, it’s probably a blue jay. If you hear a bird screaming at you that simultaneously sounds like a stone caught in a lawnmower, it’s a red squirrel.

Belted Kingfisher: One of only North American birds to have a Lego set based on them, so you know they’re cool! (Yes, I know, technically that the one in the set is a common kingfisher, not a belted one. Details.) You can also tell that a bird is cool by whether or not my family feels the need to tell you about it when we see one. And we’ll always tell you when we see a kingfisher.

Cedar Waxwing: A great name for a bird. Sounds like an 80s porn star or a failed model of sedan.

Mourning Dove: Prefers to fight the squirrels for the seeds on the ground than attempt the feeders. Seems silly but takes all sorts to make a world, I suppose.

Red-Tailed Hawk: No, that’s a turkey vulture again.

Black-capped Chickadee: A model bird! The Platonic ideal of bird, if I may be so bold, with their adorable little toupees and sweet cries of chick-a-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. (Stan Tekiela notes that they “can be easily tamed and hand fed,” which…excuse me for a moment.)

Tufted Titmouse: Yes, yes, laugh it up.

Great Blue Heron: More likely to be pointed out to you by a Koster than even a kingfisher, so you know what that means.

American Robin: Honestly? Overrated.

Northern Cardinal: I once saw someone online claim that we only ever see pairs or groups of male cardinals on Christmas cards (the females being the much less festive color of brown), so December is essentially gay pride month for birds. Food for thought.

American Goldfinch: It’s the yellow one.

Owl, Any Variety: Would be even cooler than kingfishers and great blue herons, if I ever got to see any. Owls are inherently compelling birds and have been ever since humans first looked up. Unfortunately, that one you just saw in the daytime was another turkey vulture. I don’t make the rules. (That would be Stan Tekiela.)

Annaka Koster

Annaka Koster (’18) graduated from Calvin with majors in English and history and the University of Michigan a couple years later as a “master” of information science. She’s now a public librarian in her hometown. Outside the library, Annaka can be found doing a sundry of nerdy things, including reading comics, playing board games, and mourning her pet snail, Clive.