1. Teachers can be surprisingly insistent on which specific brand and style of crayons your kid shows up with. Sparkly RoseArts were a no-go.
2. Markers should be for ages 7+ (at minimum).
3. Yes, he/she may be in preschool now, but an extra change of undies is a helpful failsafe against potty accidents. The teachers will thank you.
4. Don’t be alarmed at the cop car parked at the school at pick-up time: police officers send their children to school too.
5. Fact: little kid lockers are the coolest.
6. Before picking him/her up at the end of the day, take a minute just to observe the playground antics.
7. Ask about their day, but don’t mix up their friends’ names: you will be promptly corrected.
8. Remember paint shirts?!
9. Hope that they remember their manners.
10. Parent-teacher conferences feel like you’re the one being evaluated, and they’ll strike the fear of God into you.
11. Keep your envy of naptime in check.
12. There’s no shame in “lovies” like teddy bears (or “Baby Puppy,” in my case).
13. DO NOT FORGET THEIR LOVIES IN THE LOCKER! You will have to drive back to school in a panic!
14. Remember your code to get in the door. Don’t forget the # sign. It’s best to avoid the whole “stranger-danger” vibe.
15. Expect school-day afternoons to remind you how much free time you used to have.
16. Proceed to cram in as many chores and errands as you can (bye-bye “free time”).
17. Clear your fridge for arts-and-crafts projects.
18. Different parenting styles are in-ter-est-ing (and make for great dinner conversation).
19. Be ready to give lots and lots of hugs before school, at school, and after school.
20. Few things can choke you up more than having to walk away as your kid clings to you and begs you not to leave.
21. That knowing look from other moms and dads when dealing with #20…
22. Cherish the drives on the way to school/home. Be thankful for traffic and red lights—it means more time with your preschooler.
Jacob Schepers (Calvin ’12) is the author of A Bundle of Careful Compromises (2014), a winner of the 2013 Outriders Poetry Project competition. His poetry has appeared in Verse, The Common, PANK, The Destroyer, and others. He lives in South Bend, IN, with his wife, Charis, and two sons, Liam and Oliver. He is both an MFA student and doctoral candidate in English at the University of Notre Dame.
