I’ve always loved Peter Pan. I grew up watching a VHS copy of the Peter Pan musical starring Mary Martin on loop. My first celebrity crush was Jeremy Sumpter who played Peter Pan in the 2003 film. The idea of a place where all imagination lives, magic thrives, children have power to do what they want, and adventure can so easily be found—it sounded like a kind of heaven to me! Still does if I’m being honest. Reading the original book only made me love it more. It’s so marvelously complicated. It is about not wanting to grow up, but it’s also about the struggle of being a child. Crucially it’s also about adults trying to keep some kind of childlike wonder in a world designed to hide it. It is a story that has such a long history that I adore and have always held very close to my heart.
You can imagine my absolute joy when I got offered the role of Peter in my senior year production of Peter and the Starcatcher. I still remember getting the phone call. I was outside shoveling the parking lot behind my parents house. I was cold and out of breath, but I answered the call. I honestly wasn’t expecting much. I hadn’t felt like I had done particularly well in the audition and was anticipating, if anything, Smee or a random bit part. I would’ve been happy with that. I was just excited to be any kind of part of this show.
And then they said Peter. And I screamed.
It was a fantastic show. It was not without its issues, of course. I had to wear a horrendous wig that I absolutely hated. There were a lot of struggles knowing where we needed to be when and confusions about various moments with intricate props and moving set pieces. However, in the end it was an amazing show. I loved it. I loved ending every show on top of the set, reaching for the stars and crowing. I was getting to be this character that I have loved who represents things like childhood and adventure. It was exhilarating! Being the spring show of my senior year, the second we walked off stage on that last night, I was in absolute tears. It was the biggest role I’d gotten to play at this school I’d been at for four years, telling a story I’d loved for ages. It was a lot.
I got the Neverland stars tattooed on my wrist a few months later. I didn’t want to forget how special it all was.
And then seven years went by. And someone told me “Hey, they’re doing Peter and the Starcatcher again!”
I will admit, at first I was confused. It seemed so soon to do it again. Was our show so egregious that someone needed to replace it? Then I saw some of the production videos and saw their set. I won’t lie, I got a bit jealous. It looked like so much fun! Our set was cool, yeah, and of everyone I probably got to climb it the most, but theirs was a literal playground! Not to mention!! They got to use the turntable, something I’d always wanted to do when I was a student.
One of my friends who was also in the previous Peter with me went with me to see the show. I cannot even pretend to lie, these guys did such a good job. It was a phenomenal production. They really nailed the fun and whimsy of the show—nailing moments I remembered feeling like our show struggled with. It was fantastic and I hope everyone involved is incredibly proud of themselves.
It was a funny feeling, watching this group of kids that I Do Not Know put on a show that means so much to me. The show was fantastic, but it was weird not being a part of it. I was there purely in the capacity of an audience member and otherwise really had no business being there. It’s odd to see the things that meant so much to me not that long ago have really nothing to do with me at all now. It’s not like my cast was being consulted regarding our show. Why would we be? This version of the show belongs entirely to this cast and that’s beautiful, even if I do feel strange about it.
I suppose it’s a kind of grief, of no longer having something that was so special to me. That time ended and it will never come back. I have the memories, artifacts, and art from it but it will never be That Time again. I will never be the person I was then either. I’ve experienced more, learned new things, and—crucially—graduated school. Truth be told, I don’t think I would want to be that person again (not that I didn’t enjoy being them, just that opportunities now for me are forward, not backward). But I do remember that person and I’m very proud of what they did.
It’s odd to think of what was just a really fun passion project at the time is now something of a legacy. ‘Legacy’ is one of those big words that has such weight to it that I’ve never thought of it applying to me in any way. But, reading the program for this new Peter, it talks about how their theme for the shows this season is ‘Inheritance.’ For this, they’ve been doing shows that have been done before in the company’s history. According to some friends of mine, it sounds like Peter and the Starcatcher was a show the company specifically requested to do. I suspect because of the work and passion we put into it those years ago. We left a legacy by doing that show and making it the best that we could—a legacy that this new team now wants to build their moment on. And I love that. I loved seeing this new version, seeing what they did differently with the words that are still the same. I’m honored they thought of our show and I’m so proud of them for making it theirs. And who knows, maybe years from now the company will do it again and they’ll look back too like I am, thinking about this show that they loved and this time in their lives.
I know some part of me will always be a part of that stage for the years I worked on it. But also, that stage has and will continue without me. My time on it ended with my final bow, but I will always remember climbing to the top of the set and letting out the loudest crow I could. It made me so proud to see this new Peter get to do the same. I hope he loved it too.
Sam is unsure what exact words describe them best: Lunatic has been used, Gothic Romantic is apt, and Big ol’ Nerd is reductive but true. Mostly they just like stories in whatever form stories can be found. Sam specializes in Frankenstein, running “The Uncanny Productions” on YouTube, but they also dabble with podcasts, singing, and theatre as well. They have a DVD collection that’s long outgrown its shelf, a coffin they use as a desk, and an unrelenting joy for things that are spooky, ridiculous, or magical.
