There is a marvelous musician by the name of Shayfer James. He is from New Jersey, he’s been releasing music since 2008, and somehow he is reading my mind.
It started out simple enough. I was making a playlist to evoke the vibes of a haunted carnival and found his 2011 album Counterfeit Arcade. It fit the vibe perfectly, and more than that, it fit my vibe. As a gothic theater kid, I enjoyed this energy the album had. It was gorgeous knife-wielding ballets, but also quiet, haunted woods where something is speaking to you with your own voice. It was marvelous! Songs like “Weight of the World” and “Villainous Thing” held my attention as a performer and lover of the gothic. I had a particular fondness for the final song on the album, “Have a Seat, Misery,” a bittersweet ballad to misery. It’s a complicated feeling, but having graduated college with no clear path forward for the first time in my life, it was one I resonated with deeply. I had to befriend my misery if I was ever going to get through it.
Imagine my delight when I discovered his album Shipwreck began with a reprise! If “Have a Seat, Misery” is a midnight toast, “Welcome Back, Misery” is a whiskey-soaked evocation of the muse. It sets the stage for a beautiful album that really got its hooks in me. The songs were pendulum swings of that upbeat murderous cabaret versus a morose poet drinking in a corner during a storm. I got very attached to the album very quickly. The music is snapshots of life, dealing with all the highs and lows just to stay afloat. From the tango that is “Devils and Rebels” all the way to the somber farewell of “I’ll Be Waiting,” I felt the rise and fall of every song so distinctly. My life—and especially my romantic life—was a mess. I went on dates that left me feeling like the most bizarre person alive (“First Date”). I tried to restart a complicated relationship with an ex that for both our sakes I ended again (“Troublemaker”). It was bad.
The song I clung to like a life raft was “Learning to be Lost.” Between the uncertainty of my future, my ruinous love life, my many many failed creative projects, and my church life getting absolutely detonated, I felt completely awash. I didn’t know what to do. I also knew I didn’t want anyone’s pity. I felt cavernous and destructive and knew no one could solve my issues for me. The song’s chorus begs, “Be patient with me / I am learning to be lost. / Don’t be gentle, never be gentle. / Be mindful of me / I will sink at any cost. / Don’t be gentle, never be gentle.”
Things only somehow got more chaotic for me. My church let me down so badly I now have a trauma response to worship music. I had to leave my job of six and a half years and the new one I’d lined up dropped me. I was doing my best with what I could which felt like less and less with every day that passed. I leaned into that dramatic theatrical side at times, letting some playful grimness carry me through. At least if you’re the one singing the song, you control the performance—and boy do I know how to perform!
I dug deeper. I found Shayfer’s other albums and EPs. I have love for songs on all of them, “Boots Worn Through” and “Your Father’s Son” in particular. I’d be a poor English lit major to not mention the Beowulf musical The Ninth Hour that Shayfer wrote and performed in. It is fantastic and available to watch online in its entirety. But of his regular releases, the EPs Haunted Things and Americanachronism quickly became my favorites. Haunted Things has a dark but playful set of tracks, personal favorites being “Filthy Habit” and “Tiny Gods.” Americanachronism features several upbeat songs about the state of the political climate. It’s a nice way to happily sing bitter feelings. The song “Pistols and Paces” was my number one song of 2024. It’s a whimsical, darkly upbeat, and capital R romantic song about getting into a pistol duel with a bridge that is so fun to scream in your car.
But the song that came for me with a knife was “God Forbids,” which according to Shayfer James is the most autobiographical song he’s ever written. It is also the most autobiographical song I’ve never written. Part of the opening line is “Mother made a home for me / And taught me not to lie / My brothers and my sisters / Became Christians and had kids / And I been out here doin’ / All the things that God forbids.” As the queer nonbinary child of two pastors who has happily married siblings starting families, it hits far too close to home. But as made evident by the concert I recently attended, the part that kills me is “Now I’m late for every party / But I’m grateful for my friends / Cause I know they’ll spread my ashes / On the Ocean when it ends / So sing with me in revelry / For how the heathen lives / And I’ll be out here doin’ / All the things that God forbids.” The two times I saw Shayfer live this year, he played “God Forbids,” and both times I got held by friends while I cried, which I feel only highlights the point of the song all the more.
My life is still chaotic, but I’ve definitely gotten my feet more underneath me. I’ve got a job with coworkers I like and I’m finally moving into a home! So of course Shayfer is now releasing a new album, The Summoning. It’s suspiciously an album about finding your place and making your life your own. Every song on it has been a new treasure to unwrap and enjoy. I played the track “Winter Hymn” in my new space, letting the lines “But I think I’ll stick around / I might like this place” echo around the empty room. Now, months later, I just finished setting up my audio cabinet and got to play my new vinyl copy of The Summoning. I might like this place, indeed.
Shayfer James has no idea who I am and likely will not remember any of our interactions, but his work has had a deep and profound effect upon me. Somehow without ever knowing a single thing about me, he has so many songs that speak to my soul on every side—the marvelously dramatic and the quietly powerful, and both are truly profound in how they work upon me. I’m quite excited, frankly, to see what he does next. Partially to see what it might mean for me, but also just to see what beautiful things he makes.
Sam is unsure what exact words describe them best: Lunatic has been used, Gothic Romantic is apt, and Big ol’ Nerd is reductive but true. Mostly they just like stories in whatever form stories can be found. Sam specializes in Frankenstein, running “The Uncanny Productions” on YouTube, but they also dabble with podcasts, singing, and theatre as well. They have a DVD collection that’s long outgrown its shelf, a coffin they use as a desk, and an unrelenting joy for things that are spooky, ridiculous, or magical.
