In August, we bring a set of new full-time writers to the blog. Today, please welcome Sam Koster (’19), who will be writing for us on the 25th of each month. Sam is unsure what exact words describe them best: Lunatic has been used, Gothic Romantic is apt, and Big ol’ Nerd is reductive but true. Mostly they just like stories in whatever form stories can be found. Sam specializes in Frankenstein, running “The Uncanny Productions” on YouTube, but they also dabble with podcasts, singing, and theatre as well. They have a DVD collection that’s long outgrown its shelf, a coffin they use as a desk, and an unrelenting joy for things that are spooky, ridiculous, or magical.

I can’t begrudge anyone their love of TV shows that orbit the ordinary—Hospital Dramas, Small Towns with Big Secrets, the seventeen billion CSIs—but I’ve always been partial to those that embrace the fantastical. Shows like Warehouse 13 got me started in my childhood, Supernatural carried me through my High School years, and The X-Files has gripped my adult fascination.

However, as much as I love these shows, there is a glaring error that pops up in all of them that, while not necessarily ruining the show, makes me audibly disappointed. I call it “Just-A-Guy Syndrome.”

Let me set the scene:

An episode opens with an occurrence of horror—many dead in a gruesome and impossible way. Our protagonists begin investigating and learn of some great monster, a beast that none can even be sure really exists. There’s an old book in another language, but the dark ink illustrations say enough. This beast will require all of our heroes’ skill and cunning to take down. They’ve faced nothing like this before. With preparations in place, the time comes. This ultimate, most dangerous beast is here.

And it’s a guy. It’s just a guy!

If you’re lucky he’ll have contacts or cool makeup, but much more often it’s just some actor here for this episode. Which makes sense, unfortunately. It’s network television. There’s just not much budget! Would some dated CGI thing be preferable? You sigh, you adjust expectations, you move on.

It’s unfortunate, because to even pitch a show—let alone get to film a season—that leans fantastical takes a lot of coercion. Why take the chance when a hospital drama would be simpler (and cheaper)? I don’t want to be cruel to the wonderful shows I’ve enjoyed, but it’s unfortunately an illness of the medium and genre: When you can’t make a monster monstrous, just get a Guy^TM!

Supernatural does this aggressively. It’s almost impressive how every interesting creature always turns out to be a person in one shade or another. Ask any Supernatural fan about the Dragon episode and you will see the light leave their eyes. Personally, I have beef with the Phoenix episode. The characters talk about the great, legendary, immortal bird of fire. I thought “Perfect! This is a magic bird! There’s no getting out of this one. I’ll finally get a legitimate monster!” Imagine my rage when we somehow wind up in the wild west where we learn the Phoenix—who IS the immortal bird of fire—is a cowboy. A conventionally attractive adult man. In a stetson.

I literally walked out of my own living room.

It was almost heartbreaking to watch The X-Files, one of the most foundational monster shows in all of television, and see they’ve had more than their fair share of “just-a-guy” as well. Season one has “The Jersey Devil.” If you don’t know your cryptids, the Jersey Devil is a bipedal bat-winged goat. Unfortunately, in The X-Files universe the Jersey Devil is a feral woman with dirt on her face. They managed to have a case of “Just-A-Guy Syndrome” within the context of their own show. Impressive! And dumb!

However, not every monster that is a guy is bad. Sometimes the “Just-A-Guy”ness is the very point! One of the best Supernatural episodes is called “Skin.” It features a shapeshifter who commits a slew of murders disguised as different people, including one of the main characters! In The X-Files, the episode “Squeeze” features a series of murders in impossible places where no one could’ve possibly gotten in or out; unless there was an absolute freak who can get all jelly-like and squeeze into tiny vents to kill people.

His name is Eugene. I love him.

But while Mulder’s sure he cracked the case, how can he prove to a jury that this pasty, scrawny weirdo did impossible murders? Especially with him leaning into the “this federal agent is harassing me” narrative? It’s delightful. It’s delicious. The monstrous is wearing our face. How do you cope?

The show Grimm is another good example to the contrary where the monstrous is mundane. The main character, Nick, has a power that lets him see which people in society are secretly “monsters,” but where the “monsters” are just people trying to live their lives. They’re Just Guys and that’s the point!

“Just-A-Guy Syndrome” is not the biggest issue in modern television, but when it pops up it always highlights where a production is weakest—in writing and/or production. For a show whose premise hinges on selling you the fantastic, falling short is painfully obvious and just takes the audience out. There are ways to make it work if you take the time! But until networks find another solution for when their monsters can’t be monstrous, tune in to see a world where every possible threat is “Just Some Guy.”

Sam Koster

Sam is unsure what exact words describe them best: Lunatic has been used, Gothic Romantic is apt, and Big ol’ Nerd is reductive but true. Mostly they just like stories in whatever form stories can be found. Sam specializes in Frankenstein, running “The Uncanny Productions” on YouTube, but they also dabble with podcasts, singing, and theatre as well. They have a DVD collection that’s long outgrown its shelf, a coffin they use as a desk, and an unrelenting joy for things that are spooky, ridiculous, or magical.