Marbury v. Madison (A Dadaist Retelling)
I have never been good at writing poetry. I don’t have the wit to write metaphysical poetry like Donne. I could never capture the sylvan landscape like Frost. What I am good at is doodling.
Star Wars: The Disappointment Begins
I sincerely hope I am wrong. I hope this movie is amazing and blows my mind. But anything less than “mind-blowingly fantastic” just isn’t going to cut it for me.
Reflections on Water (Five Memories)
I couldn’t see where the lake ended and land began. The white/grey of the snow and ice blended perfectly with the grey of the sky making it impossible to tell where the sky began.
Fantasy Football (Or: A Lovecraftian Descent into Obsession and Madness)
My team radiates with eldritch powers. Led by the dark priest Roethlisberger, the strength and conviction of disciples such as Eddie Lacy and Dez Bryant shall not fail me.
Marriage Morning Blues
I already am super weird about being on time, and a lot of my friends seem to view a deadline as more of a suggestion, rather than a hard fact.
Tales from the Cul-de-sac
There are some things you are just unprepared to handle—and seeing a six foot tall, naked (except for his white ankle socks) man covered in blood is definitely one of them.
Schrödinger’s Villains
I am always frustrated because at the end of every episode they catch the killer. Everything gets wrapped up nicely. No loose ends. Fly home, see family, roll credits.
Making Sense of the Senseless
Hearing about a shooting that took place ten minutes from where I grew up. Learning sketchy details as they came in. Worrying if I knew anyone involved.
Peanut Butter Crackers
I trotted back to preschool to rejoin snacktime. I tore open my snack, took a bite…and stopped. I had never tasted something so vile and disgusting.
Oscar Snubs & Flubs
6. The Lego Movie wasn’t nominated for Best Animated Feature. I think everyone who has seen it knows immediately that this is a – SNUB
Rise of the Planet of the Podcast
I call 2014 the rise of podcasts because I believe this is the year that people finally understood what that word meant and took notice.
Baby Mamu
Sometimes I wonder what happened to all of those kids. To little Mamu and Japuca. And I’m sad that they didn’t grow up with all the love and happiness that my niece has.
My Recurring Nightmare
My recurring nightmare is this—I am back in high school. Cliché, I know, but every couple of months, I dream that I am my current age yet forced to go back to high school.
Andrew W.K Is My Role Model
To be honest, I’m not even that big a fan of his music. But here is the thing about Andrew W.K.—he is such a relentlessly positive person that you can’t help but love him.
For Sale: Huge Dead Fish
I am going to window shop for a while, wish that I knew what to do with a giant dead fish so that I could say I bought a giant dead fish, and then I will go and buy some delicious tacos.
Paul’s Summer Mixtape
7. Less Than Jake – “Short Fuse Burning”. I will never not love Less Than Jake. Plus, every summer mixtape needs a punk rock song about feeling misunderstood and lost.
Yelling Out of Car Windows
I can only assume that the good citizens of Appleton must have incurred the wrath of an old crone witch at some point in the past. She in turn cursed the town.
No One Is Born Alone
But after Greg passed, something truly remarkable happened. My grandpa made a request that was shocking to the doctors—he wanted to donate his son’s organs to those who needed them.
Dirty Hands
Physical labor drains you, and it gave me a pure, restful sleep. I awoke refreshed, renewed. Getting my hands dirty had given me release.
A Simple Mistake
I don’t know if I’d say that I gave them hope, but I maybe helped them back to the path to realizing that there is some hope in life. At the very least, I eased their burden for a little while.
