What the Mountain Is
Our mountains are mountains in the way that a teacup pig is livestock.
Adventures in Amateur Birdwatching
Downy Woodpecker & Hairy Woodpecker: I can’t tell these guys apart and I don’t believe that you can either.
My Bloody Self-Care Routine
The longer I’m a blood donation regular, the more I appreciate the ritual of it.
There But For The
You can’t know what you would have done under the strain of such overwhelming psychological forces. And I can’t know what I would have done.
Animal People
I’m sure your dog is great, but I probably don’t care about your dog unless I care about you.
How Find a Forgotten Book’s Title
“I don’t remember the title but the cover was red” was the first library meme you ever encountered.
Good and Mad
It’s hard to know how much help is mine to give.
Learning to Speak Librarian
People say “PIN number,” even though the N stands for number.
Best of 2024, Part Three: Editors’ Picks
This place is all you. Thanks for that.
Still More Festive Erotica with Your Favorite Librarian
Buckle up, kids. We’ve got ourselves a monster romance.
100% Accurate Assassin’s Creed Audiobook Pairings
The man could narrate his trip to the vending machine and I’d happily listen.
I Want to Believe
“It’s her. It’s our ghost buster.”
Is Everything Mainstream Now?
Maybe I just need to get into something nerdier, like styling cosplay wigs or long division.
Now Hiring—Unless You’re Bad at the Internet
Imagine trying to go through the same processes when you haven’t held a cell phone since 1997.
Disaffiliate Me
I didn’t think it would be difficult for me to return to my home church.
My Life as a Domestic Demon
Have you ever seen anything more tragic?
My Alt-Right YouTube Debut
The Bible says to love your enemies, but we are not your enemies. We’re your content, and the Bible doesn’t say anything about that.
Firebug
You understand intuitively why people are drawn to burned-out houses. Even grandmothers.
Every Day is a Grift
The motive is never interesting and always money.
I Think I Might Be Obsessed with Fourth Wing
Misery loves company and I love misery.
Best of 2023, Part One: Writers’ Picks
What did they make in the last twelve months that sparked something—grief, pride, thought, joy, a last-minute panic because oh crap it’s my day to post something tomorrow?
Even More Festive Erotica with Your Favorite Librarian
At least in the epilogue she really sticks it to him by making him dress up in a Santa suit at the Christmas party she goes to with all of the other kidnapped women and their abductors/lovers.
Tannenbaum Days
I readied myself to finally be the one disappearing into the muddy vegetation while my siblings made sideline sports commentary about my efforts.
Having Fun Isn’t Hard
Those are the things that the metadata leaves out.
52 Thoughts I Had While Watching Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island for the First Time in 20 Years
“Could you enhance this image” on your 1990s camcorder? Sure.
The Place Where I’ll Be Buried
It was a joke when I turned to my sister and asked, “I dunno, do you wanna share a spinsters’ grave with me?”
Happy Ten Years to the post calvin
Ten years ago, the post calvin was just an idea.
Pining Red
Yesterday I stumbled across a picture of a red pine and realized I had never actually seen one before.
Table for One
She mouths the numbers to herself when she calculates the tip.
911 is Just a Number
I think they might have arrested him in the end, but if they did I don’t know why.
