Our theme for the month of March is “light.”
O overhead lights,
Harbinger of squinting,
You are as astounding to me as a true crime podcast.
By which I mean,
It astounds me when people enjoy you, ask you to be around, invite you to sit in their cozy armchair by the fire
(as if anyone could truly be cozy with a fluorescent bulb blasting above).
O overhead lights,
Apple of my eye,
By which I mean,
The remnants of the poison the apple left behind
As it rolled to the floor
(and then said poison was injected directly into my eyeball).
You are as bright as the death of the sun
And twice as nauseating
(though it’s true, I’ve never lived through the death of the sun, so I’ll be generous and say you’re only a quarter worse).
O overhead lights,
Thief of camaraderie and destroyer of cool little boutique shops,
How often has a friend paused by the thrift store, raised their eyes excitedly to mine?
“Do you want to check it out?” they ask.
I am lingering by the door, wince already in place
“It looks too bright. I’ll wait out here.”
And sure, maybe I have a mysterious illness that makes overhead lighting feel like getting a flashlight (made of knives) shined directly into my eyes (which are also made of knives).
But maybe my disease
Is really just in knowing
That overhead lights were created by an evil mastermind to simulate the timelessness of a void
And the sweating, gasping pressure of an interrogation room.
O overhead lights,
I will accept you into my life for one purpose only:
To find the sock I lost on the floor.
Then, I will exile you from my home
And return to the land of twinkles.
Hannah McNulty graduated from Calvin in 2021 and stuck around Grand Rapids, against all odds. She has spent her last few years singing in choir, teaching herself to love reading again, and trying to learn every fiber art simultaneously. She currently works at Eerdmans Publishing, where you can find her burying her nose in old paperwork and forcing anyone within earshot to listen to her bad puns.
What kind of light is acceptable, then, for curiosity’s sake?
Anti-odes are always fun. Thanks for bringing some clever “light” to the blog. As a dark-dweller, I too have many complaints with light.
I love me some warm lamps, year-long white Christmas lights, even brighter lighting, as long as it’s side lighting and not ceiling. Something about the light coming from the ceiling makes me feel like I can’t escape it when I’m having a photosensitive day.