We know the story, of course. A father named Jacob, who wrestled God in the middle of the night and was renamed “Israel,” has enough sons to field a football team (with one sub!) because of the jealousy between his two wives. We know those boys’ names off the tops of our heads, at least some of them: Reuben, who was the oldest. Joseph, the dreamer with the fancy coat. Benjamin, the youngest and most beloved.
We know that the story continues with a deep well, a blood-soaked lie, and a solo trip to Egypt.
This is a story we’re told as kids, but how much do we know about each character? Joseph? A ton. Gad? Not so much.
So the lights go down, the show’s over, the end credits roll: where do the twelve boys go between this appearance and the next?
Reuben
The oldest. His father compares him to “unstable water” at the end of Genesis. But he is the conscience of the group, the one who argues with the brothers that they should sell Joseph into slavery rather than kill him. A real softy.
He also loses his birthright in some “relations” with his father’s concubine, which seems like a fair punishment to me. So much for a conscience.
Dan
Not short for Daniel. His name means “judge,” which is interesting because his dad (on his deathbed) prophesies that Dan will be a deceptive, though powerful, force who embodies viper-like qualities.
So if I get a snake, I’m naming it Dan.
Naphtali
Blood brothers with Dan. Can you imagine introducing them together? “This is my son Naphtali, who is known for his swiftness and eloquence, and this is my other son…”
Judah
Gets the birthright instead of Reuben. This is a big deal, actually, because he’s the fourth son of Leah and Jacob (what about the middle two brothers?). Apparently he shows natural leadership in the group and Jacob—in a rare moment of clarity—could see that.
Judah does have his own problems, though: he has a wild issue that includes his sons (plural) dying after they marry a (singular) woman named Tamar, who then seduces him (Judah) in order to have a son and stay in the family. Oof.
Side note: Judah also thought it was a bad idea to kill Joseph. I wonder who thought it was a good idea?
Simeon
He and one of his brothers (coming next) massacred an entire city after their sister was attacked by some of their male members. Can appreciate.
Levi
Also does some massacring, but is less known for this because he is the father of the priestly tribe of Israel. Also, for being the great-grandfather of Moses, Miriam, and Aaron!
Zebulun
This is my uncle’s name!
Zebulun is blessed with the “haven by the sea,” though, and my uncle Zeb is blessed with HVAC powers instead.
Gad
Known for his military prowess. Brave warriors. Not much else.
Benjamin
Mom Rachel died during his birth, so his dad originally named him Ben-Oni, meaning “son of my sorrow.” Later changed to “son of my right hand.”
Full brother to Joseph, adored by all.
Asher
Born to one of Leah’s maidservants in Leah and Rachel’s mad dash to have more kids than one another. Not much drama here after that: he shows up again to be blessed with prosperity by his dad and then fades into the night to sire the tribe of Asher. Unproblematic king.
Joseph
We know this one. Colorful coat, dream-whisperer. Adored by the ladies and right-hand-man to Pharoah. Totally messes with his brothers when they come to Egypt begging for food, which I totally get.
Issachar
Try saying his name.
“Issachar?”
I don’t know, is it a car?
Roll final credits on the boys. Find any potential baby names in there?
