Our theme for the month of June is “Celebrities and Me.” Writers were asked to select and write about a celebrity with whom they feel some connection.

As I live alone as an “adult” of some form or another, I become increasingly aware of the myth of independence that so many become obsessed with. A few months ago, inspired vaguely by interest and largely by the impending isolation of virtual school, I picked up the book Into the Wild. I was skeptical both because of its cheesy “find yourself” cover and because I have a poorly veiled hatred of survival-type books. I’m sorry, Gary Paulsen; I do not care how many notches Brian carved into the stick in order to roast meat over the fire.

Chris McCandless, the man who inspired the book, was mesmerizing to me. If you are unfamiliar with the story, Chris graduated from college in the early 1990s, hopped in his crappy car, drove across the country, and lived a weird nomadic existence for a few years until his death in the Alaskan wilderness. This is not a spoiler; it is a widely known news story, and the very first chapter acknowledges his eventual death. But it doesn’t leave his death as a news story. Instead, the author spends hundreds of pages exploring who he was, why he may have done this, and why so many young men have faced a similar demise. 

Chris and I both prescribe to the myth of independence. What do I mean by this, you might ask? I think it can be broken down into several distinct features:

Severing relationships: Throughout the book, Chris abruptly hacks off the possibility of relationships, leaving hopelessly frayed ends behind. The journey begins with him cutting off communication with his family and as the book progresses, he makes friends in various crannies of the country. The author has a heartbreaking conversation with one particular man who offered to adopt Chris as his son but found himself abandoned by Chris like the rest. These stories were like a skewer to the heart for me, as I similarly find it hard to maintain long-term relationships of any kind because of the way I perceive that they limit my freedom. The myth of independence tells me you do not need people because they will inhibit your independence.

Grandiose acts: According to the author’s research, Chris spends his whole nomadic lifestyle dreaming of his eventual foray into the Alaskan wilderness. For many people, Alaska is the final frontier for adventurers (I don’t own three Alaska sweatshirts; you own three Alaska sweatshirts). He sees it as this grand culminating proof of his independence and ability to survive. I find myself similarly seeking out big ways to prove my independence. Oh, I spent my spring break on the Appalachian Trail with my sisters. Oh, I actually live alone. Oh, I moved that bookshelf across the school by myself and probably threw out my back in the process. I am always looking for the next way to prove I am independent, just like Chris.

The Thoreau Effect: Henry David Throeau. You know, that guy who said “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately” and then wrote this eloquent book where he really drives home his moral superiority. People like Chris and I eat that stuff up. We place ourselves on this pedestal that we have a unique gift for “communing with nature” and “sucking the marrow out of life.” Those that buy into the myth of independence tend to idolize other people that seem to have achieved the myth. It seems like they cracked the code and we want it. So we lead backpacking trips and spend hours on the perfect lesson plan and imagine that we are superior because we do what we want and assemble great meaning from it.

As I read, I found myself idolizing Chris and his weird moral superiority and his seemingly unbreakable independence. Then I began to realize I was losing sight of the fact that he died tragically young and alone. He is not the first young man to die alone in the wilderness and as many of us follow the myth of independence, he will not be the last.

Tucked into this story are so many nuggets of truth. As you read his friends’ testimonies, you see the beauty of love and friendship that Chris was constantly abandoning. Success in this life should not be based on a person’s individual value. Life is about community, and accepting help. It’s about covering your wall with your students’ drawings. It’s about calling your friend crying at 9 p.m. because you found a box of old letters. It’s about sitting around the campfire with people you love and talking about Louisa May Alcott.

If you similarly feel yourself idolizing the myth of independence, Chris and I would like to advise you to press pause, call a friend, and tell them about your feelings. It will be worth it, I promise.

Susannah Boersma

Susannah currently lives in New Jersey and works as a 7th grade ELA teacher in East Harlem. When she is not teaching or writing, she can be found exploring independent bookstores, going backpacking, and trying to roller-skate on all the cool trails in the city. She is also recently experienced in the art of citrus skunk repellent (I know you’re impressed).