Photo credit: AOP
Why Are Announcers Always Like This?
All this talk of legs:
“Tired legs,” “fresh legs,”
“old legs,” “young legs,” “injured legs.”
“If only they could
make use of the ball as a
goal scoring device.”
“England are here to
win the World Cup tournament.
Their hopes are sky high.”
“They’re just good—this is
not about talent.” What are
you even saying?’
11 Shots on Target vs. 1 Shot on Target, and the Keeper is Calm
block! block! block! block! block!
Dominik Livaković.
block! block! block! block! block!
So many corners
and free kicks that haven’t made
a single goal yet.
I Can’t Even Really Be Mad at Petković for Doing That
I was unaware
taking off your shirt in this
means a yellow card.
Playing a Completely Different Game
Rolling on the ground,
anguish, clasping foot with hands.
Neymar wins the Oscar.
He Looks Like a Baby Modrić, But Sometimes He Just Plays Like a Baby
Sosa. Sosa!! Yes!
So, Sosa. Sosa? Sosa??
Sosaaaaaa… So- Sosa.
Football Tongue Twister
Trči trči trčak
na čvoru crne smrče
TRČI ZABI GOALLLLLLLLLLL
Chronically Overrated, Chronically Underrated
‘Magic moment’?—but,
ninety minutes is enough
to be upsetting.
Do. the. pass. you. fool.
runrunrunrunrunrunrun
assist and… IT’S IN!!!
But Honestly, We Mostly Just Talk About Modrić and How Beautiful He Is and How Effortlessly He Plays and How We Want Him to Whisper Sweet Nothings into Our Ears and Kiss Us on the Neck
Just so elegant.
Luka—what a handsome man.
The “little owl.”
Jack Kamps (’16) has been paid to do many things, such as teach preschoolers, pastor youths, schlep things in warehouses, bake pastries, design curriculum, serve coffee, maintain gardens, and fix computers. Jack is currently a student at Princeton Theological Seminary—though they tend to spend more time working at a few local farms, plotting a future cheesecake business with their spouse, and listening to/talking about the latest Material Girls episode than doing their homework.
