Photo credit: AOP

Why Are Announcers Always Like This?

All this talk of legs:

“Tired legs,” “fresh legs,”

“old legs,” “young legs,” “injured legs.”


“If only they could

make use of the ball as a

goal scoring device.”


“England are here to

win the World Cup tournament.

Their hopes are sky high.”


“They’re just good—this is

not about talent.”  What are

you even saying?’


11 Shots on Target vs. 1 Shot on Target, and the Keeper is Calm

block! block! block! block! block!

Dominik Livaković.

block! block! block! block! block!

So many corners

and free kicks that haven’t made

a single goal yet.


I Can’t Even Really Be Mad at Petković for Doing That

I was unaware

taking off your shirt in this

means a yellow card.


Playing a Completely Different Game

Rolling on the ground,

anguish, clasping foot with hands.

Neymar wins the Oscar.


He Looks Like a Baby Modrić, But Sometimes He Just Plays Like a Baby

Sosa. Sosa!! Yes!

So, Sosa. Sosa? Sosa??

Sosaaaaaa… So- Sosa.


Football Tongue Twister

Trči trči trčak

na čvoru crne smrče



Chronically Overrated, Chronically Underrated

‘Magic moment’?—but,

ninety minutes is enough

to be upsetting.

Do. the. pass. you. fool.


assist and… IT’S IN!!!


But Honestly, We Mostly Just Talk About Modrić and How Beautiful He Is and How Effortlessly He Plays and How We Want Him to Whisper Sweet Nothings into Our Ears and Kiss Us on the Neck

Just so elegant.

Luka—what a handsome man.

The “little owl.”

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