Our theme for the month of October is “flash nonfiction.” Writers were asked to submit pieces that were 250 words or less.
A man, possibly a Sufi, in traditional red Ottoman clothing looks in dismay at a series of small nuisances in the form of tortoises. His musical instruments—a traditional drum and flute—aren’t adequate for the task of taming reptiles.
“The Tortoise Trainer,” or Kaplumbağa Terbiyecisi (1906), was painted by the Ottoman intellectual Osman Hamdi Bey a mere decade and a half before the final fall of the world’s longest-lasting empire. In parody of the futile attempts of reform of the Tanzimat, the anachronistic tortoise trainer can’t bring order to the slowest reptile. (Note: click on the thumbnail below to see the full painting.)
This painting is a photoshop away from satirizing President Joe Biden’s first term.
When the New York Times columnists ran the “The Best Case for Each Candidate” series prior to the 2020 election, Ross Douthat, the resident conservative columnist, wrote the piece in favor of Joe Biden. With Biden being an afterthought to liberal pundits, Douthat postured him as a more respectable version of Donald Trump’s “Sleepy Joe”: To option for his candidacy was “to choose the past over the future.”
Apparently, the past was attractive.
Many Americans, myself included, are hard-pressed to name a single significant piece of legislation passed by the current president. This is a problem when the stakes of the future include the destruction of our biospheres, never-ending wars, and exponentially heightened social disunity.
In face of the potentiality for radical change, Biden exudes stability via incremental change: progress simply happens, no primary movers are necessary.
Biden is another tortoise trainer.
Joshua Polanski (’20) is a freelance film and culture writer who writes regularly for the Boston Hassle and has contributed to the Bay Area Reporter, In Review Online, and Off Screen amongst other places. His interests include the technical elements of filmmaking and exhibition, slow and digital cinemas, cinematic sexuality, as well as Eastern and Northern European, East Asian, and Middle Eastern film.
