The Ones
I grew up knowing that I would not date a woman unless we were going to get married. No pressure, you’ll know when you know, but figure it out and don’t mess it up or your entire life will be ruined.
Category Archives: Australia
The Limitations of Flowers
The woman looked at me like I’d asked to give her a dead fish, which, considering I looked like I had come out of the forest, wasn’t wholly misplaced.
Airport Purgatory
Of course, it’s unfair to judge a culture based on experiences in airport terminals.
What They Don’t Tell You About Campervans
He took a lap around the vehicle, got in the driver’s seat, and tried the key. The van roared to life… as if nothing had been wrong, as if it were just born, as if it were doing it just to spite me. I stared at the van in silence.
A Night on the Lash
It was like asking the two of them to play a game of ping pong, but no one had brought any paddles and the only ball available was a brick.
A Selfie Stick Could Just Save Your Life (Not Really)
If I were a man of principle, I would have shouted, “GET THIS DEVIL STICK AWAY FROM ME” and thrown it into a tree.
Let Go and Let It Grow
Why was I so afraid of losing this thing? I thought of it as Sampson’s hair—when I grew it, I scored more goals in hockey, hit harder, was a better leader, made better jokes, talked to more girls…
