We didn’t seek out bad movies to watch, at least at the beginning. “I have to tell you about this movie I saw,” my friend Bastian shared, in one of our kitchens, “It’s a combination of Cinderella and Twelfth Night, but set in a Canadian fashion AU.” I tilted my head, unsure how serious he was being. “Yeah, the stepmom frames the protagonist for corporate espionage, so she has to crossdress, go back to the company, and expose that it’s actually the stepmom doing corporate espionage. It’s not a good movie, but I love it.”
Two weeks later, we watched After The Ball (2015) together, and there’s more to unpack than he let on. Because it’s fashion and Cinderella, the love interest designs shoes. Colin Mochrie appears halfway through as the true villain of the film. The role of the fairy godmother is played by two characters: Bella, the protagonist’s godmother, and Richard, Bella’s… gay husband? Business partner? Gay friend who’s around all the time? They give off lavender marriage vibes, but the exact nature of their relationship goes undisclosed. Most importantly, we had a blast watching it. Bastian was right. The film is not great, and I love it.
A couple months later, it happened again. “I’ve got another movie for bad movie club,” he said in passing, indicating this was going to become a thing, “Have you ever seen The VelociPastor?” I hadn’t. We invited some friends over, and now I have. We’ve continued watching bad movies in the time since.
The production values of these films aren’t high, though we make allowances for movies with sufficiently bonkers concepts. Movies only get added to the list if we hear about them via word of mouth, no googling lists of bad movies to find fodder. We don’t watch any movies that have been marketed to us. None of these movies are going to be shown at film arts committee screenings or Wealthy Theater. They’re not going to be taught in film classes anywhere. We’re finding our own cult hits, if the two to six people we watch with count as a cult. We’ve seen some truly awful movies, as well as some that are higher quality than we’d prefer.
The best bad movie club movies do the following:
1. They’re able to be followed.
Now this one is pretty basic, but we’ve seen some truly ~~awful~~ films. Dark Moon Rising (2015) was the worst. The editing was hard to follow, and concepts important to the plot were not explained. We looked up a plot synopsis after watching, and it didn’t match up to what we had just seen.
2. They’re sincere.
We haven’t dipped into watching any of the Sharknado films or any other “so bad they’re good” movies. A manufactured lack of quality is not what we’re looking for.
3. They have one or two lines or scenes you can quote from memory after the film.
After The Ball’s is “I haven’t done this since we mounted Cyrano at The Centaur. We also did a little play, I can’t remember the title.” VelociPastor’s is “You turned into a dinosaur.” “I don’t believe you, dinosaurs never existed!”
4. The best of the best make us pause the movie so we can laugh at something that just happened.
Last weekend, watching Red Snow (2021), a friend’s parent came downstairs to make sure we were all okay with the comment “it sounded like someone set off a grenade of laughter.”
But Sam, I hear you cry, you have a degree in film studies! You’re a man of culture! Why do you inflict these upon yourself? To which I respond, it’s fun. These movies are camp. Most of the time they have plots I can’t predict. They stick with me afterwards, shining in my memory like cursed stars. And it’s a good reminder that while I get joy from critiquing media, that’s not how every interaction with art needs to go. If the folks making these movies had fun doing it, it’s the least I can do to have fun watching it. Movies are made to be watched. Maybe especially, they’re made to be watched with other people.
