Petoskey
One never knows who might show up at the condo. One year there were seventeen people stuffed into the three bedrooms. Three people slept on the porch.
Laura (Bardolph) Hubers (’10) is wife to Matt, mother to Samuel, and copywriter at Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company. She counts the day the Chicago Cubs won the 2016 World Series as one of the happiest of her life.
Matt Hubers (’12) lives with his wife, Laura, and young son, Samuel. He likes to spend his time playing board games, coaching high school forensics, and frolicking with alpacas. His dream is to write picture books.
I Am Not Jesus
I pictured my wife going into labor right there on the grass. I tried not to think of how small our son would look in this, his 24th week of gestation.
Mother’s Day
To be honest, I doubt that feeling will ever go away, because (I have to take a deep breath before I even type this): I’m going to be a mother for the whole rest of the my life.
Avocado
A car and a job, all in a couple of days. Seven o’clock—time to get up. Laura came bounding into the room. And that was when I found out I was going to be a father.
SkyMall
I like to imagine this whole catalog was written sarcastically. Then when it came time for the copywriter to review the first proof she sighed and said, “Whatever. It’s fine.”
Unheard
There have been days at home alone in which I have not once spoken aloud. Sometimes I notice this and say something just to use my voice, only to find it thick, musty, and weak.
The Right Word
She asked me on the first date. I wasn’t exactly smart enough to know it was a date. We had agreed to go swing dancing downtown with some of her friends.
Laura Hubers’s Absolute Definitive List of the Worst Ten Christmas Songs of All Time
So. With some overlap with Will’s list (see especially 9 and 7, corresponding to 4 and 10 on his list, plus a couple honorable mentions), here is my Definitive List of the Worst Ten Christmas Songs of All TIme.
A Letter To My GPS
And in my rising, I have come up with a solution. Jellybeans. I will follow your stupid navigation decisions to the letter if you will spit out jellybeans for every correct turn.
More Feminist Confessions
I want to defy convention. Break molds. And at the same time I want to be with my husband. And have children. And bake lots of cookies. And I hate shoveling the driveway.
Fantasy Football
Fantasy football isn’t practical. It isn’t realistic or especially constructive or useful. But so many of us play it. It’s the fantasy fulfilled for so many sports fans, and I think it’s a precise way to define us.
Miss Bardolph, Pen-Slinger
When the seniors put on a homecoming skit and dressed up as the various teachers, the kid playing me had a pocket full of twenty or thirty pens to throw around at random.
Playing God
We read fiction to watch people overcome their struggles. We enjoy tragic moments, because they are purposeful and developmental. Pain can drive a character or a plot to something complex and important.
One Tiny Tomato
We had enough to plant a small garden this year. I sneak over and check on them every day when I get home from work (the sneaking so that they don’t become frightened).
For He Spoke
My father-in-law likes to say he would pay to hear James Earl Jones read the phonebook. Who would pay to hear me read anything?
Good Friday
Anne Lamott quoted Barbara Johnson: “We are Easter people living in a Good Friday world.” Here’s the thing: in our Good Friday world, awful things happen.
Love Thy Neighbor
Bob moved into our assisted living facility about five months ago. I can’t believe it was that long ago. It feels like much longer. He has scared me from the day I met him.
Men, Sports, and Such Things
“Oh, you play fantasy football with your husband? That’s so cute!” It is not cute. It’s competitive and occasionally slightly unhealthy for our marriage.
Retail Resolve
I thought it was bad my first day in the department when a woman came in, lifted up her shirt, and said “I like this bra. Can you find me another one?”
Traditions (cont’d)
It’s almost our second Christmas as a married couple. Our tree is full of bare, ornament-less spots. We have different holiday movie requests, opposing music preferences, and conflicting decorating techniques.
Bless Me
I used to think libido was a car. One little misconception can change the way we understand things. It can change our perceptions, our preferences, and sometimes it can change the way we live completely.
The Things We Fear to Say
I learned the hard way never to say the C word at work. No, it wasn’t that C word, though it may as well have been.
Ode to Joy
But why is it always about the “joy” of homeownership? It’s true—when you buy a house you have to be prepared for the issues that come up.
The Dog Days of Summer
I couldn’t fully articulate this at the time, but I saw a new puppy as a means of gaining control of my life. So much was changing, and I felt like I was being left behind.
