1. Spending time outdoors everyday is the best kind of therapy. Also, try to live somewhere where there are four seasons. And remember that in New York, March is winter and April is, as T.S. Eliot famously said, “the cruelest month.”
  2. When it comes to boys, if you can’t talk about it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. I still live by this adage and give this as relationship advice to my friends. Texting, by the way, doesn’t count as talking.
  1. A clean sink goes a long way. Even if your carpet hasn’t seen a vacuum in months, do the damn dishes.
  1. Don’t get an animal unless you are prepared to deal with the hair. Maybe just don’t get an animal.
  1. Read the classics. Memorize the “I care for myself” monologue in Jane Eyre.
  1. It’s important to have a big coffee mug. Nothing smaller than a bowl you’d use for cereal. Also, life is too short for skim milk in coffee.
  1. If you want dessert and don’t want to gain weight, have a square of dark chocolate and a small glass of bourbon.
  1. Don’t worry about the girls who seem way cooler and prettier than you in high school. “High school pretty” is not what you want, and doesn’t get you anywhere later in life. “College pretty,” however, can work wonders.
  1. Food tastes better when cooked in a cast iron skillet.
  1. The beach is best in the evening. Forget the hot sun and the entrance fee, the time to go to the beach is dinner time, when the air is cool and crisp. Bring a turkey and Brie sandwich and some salt and vinegar chips.
  1. A bottle of wine is enough for no more than two people. Never plan on one bottle of wine for a four person dinner party.
  1. Put your bitch-face on when you take the subway.
  1. There is no such thing as your one true soul mate. People become your soul mates in a variety of ways, but mostly through time, trust, and shared experiences. Don’t go looking for magic, but be sure to notice and appreciate it when it happens. It will.
  1. Some Johnny Walker Black Label and honey in a hot cup of lemon tea cures many ailments. The drinking age is irrelevant when you’re a fourteen year old with cramps.
  1. Offer food. Extend the dinner invite. It doesn’t matter if it’s late or if dinner is crackers, this is how you show love. There is always room at the table.

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